Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some

people

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claim that competing with each other in different areas of life,

such

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as at

work

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, school, and daily life, is beneficial for personal development,

whereas

Linking Words

others contend that collaboration should be tried to be more effective in life. From my perspective,

individuals

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should find common ground and be open to cooperation to find more effective solutions, and

people

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can feel stressed and depressed in a competitive environment. Proponents of the idea that being competitive is an advantage for society suggest that

this

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development can enhance

people

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's abilities and skills by making students or

workers

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put more effort into their jobs and studies. They believe

this

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because

individuals

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have a tendency to push their limits in order to pass their coworkers or classmates. A study in a big company, Vestel, showed that white-collar

workers

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functioned better when they were obligated to

work

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alone and had to pass their teammates for a salary increase, and their tasks were delegated, so everyone did their part in

this

Linking Words

study.

As a result

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, their efficiency was greater, increasing by almost 10%.

Hence

Linking Words

, it can be inferred that competition can be used to raise

Use synonyms

workers

Check wording

workers'

show examples

or students efficiency.

However

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, working constantly in a competitive workplace or a classroom can lead to both physical and mental health problems because

individuals

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tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves to meet endless deadlines or finish their homework to be successful.

This

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, in turn, may cause stress-related illnesses

such

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as depression and anxiety.

Moreover

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, competition might seem like an efficient method to create an effective working area, but it has only a positive impact on

people

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's working habits in the short-term. Collaboration,

on the other hand

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, has a lot of benefits for society and

people

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's mental well-being. The most prominent advantage of

this

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is that

workers

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and learners can find more viable solutions when they are asked to

work

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together by using various techniques,

such

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as brainstorming and teamwork.

For example

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, in a student group, all children can argue their own ideas to find a better solution, and they can see the big picture when they

work

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together.

Consequently

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, they can learn that there are numerous ideas in the world, broadening their horizons. In conclusion,

although

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I acknowledge that there are some counter-arguments suggesting that competition plays a crucial role in the development of

individuals

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and can increase efficiency in the short-term, I remain convinced that cooperation is a more viable technique, as being competitive can cause serious diseases

such

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as depression.

Additionally

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, collaboration can positively affect thinking processes and problems can be more easily addressed.

hakkanad21

Apr 25, 2026

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task response

Make your main view more clear in the first part. Say your opinion in a short and direct way.

task response

Discuss both sides in a more equal way. Your essay gives more space to cooperation than competition.

task response

Use examples that feel more real and clear. The company example is good, but it needs a bit more support.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your writing easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'however', 'also', and 'as a result' in a natural way.

coherence and cohesion

The order of ideas is mostly good, but paragraph 2 and 3 both talk about competition. You can join them more clearly.

task response

You answer all parts of the question and give your own opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and complete.

coherence and cohesion

Most ideas are easy to follow, and your paragraphs are well planned.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

430 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

The average age for individuals to give birth is increasing. Some people think that it will have negative impact on family and country. What is your opinion about this?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using mobile phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.