Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
One of the widely discussed issues at the moment is leaving rural
areas
to study or work in cities
, this
process can involve both young people
and other people
. I understand that mostly
young Correct your spelling
most
people
will leave rural areas
because they want to achieve their goals, find a good job, which is obviously with a high salary, and they want to get a good education and a lot
of experience, but this
does not mean that older people
cannot leave villages and move to cities
. I think the reason may be job search, living in good conditions
or something like that.
One of the main advantages of living in rural areas
is that there are more opportunities in cities
, where people
can develop in a variety of areas
that are not available in unpopulated areas
. In addition
, we can get excellent living conditions
. As a rule, it is comfortable to live in a megalopolis, because we know that if we have good conditions
, we will be able to achieve much more than when we live in villages.
Turning to the other side of the argument, I want to say that there is a lot
of environmental pollution in megacities, which may be caused by the number of people
living there. Accordingly
, if the number of people
is so large, then
there will be many factories
,
because we have heard that Remove the comma
apply
factories
emit a lot
of harmful substances into the atmosphere, which can be the cause of many diseases.
Having weighed everything mentioned up
we can come to Change preposition
apply
a
conclusion that the advantages of the development outweigh Correct article usage
the
it's
disadvantages. Let's explain in view of the fact that for Replace the word
its
people
it is more important Wrong verb form
to achieve
achieving
goals,living in towns with good Change the verb form
to achieve
conditions
,finding well-paid work,Correct word choice
and getting
getting
more opportunities than Correct word choice
and getting
Wrong verb form
living
live
in Wrong verb form
living
second
variant. But it doesn't mean that villages are the worst place to live. And you can say that there are more Change the article
the second
factories
in cities
, as I said, factories
emit a lot
of harmful substances into the atmosphere, which can be the causes
of many diseases, but, Fix the agreement mistake
cause
therefore
, in the metropolis
we have good medicine that can prevent all diseases. In short, living in a megalopolis is more profitableAdd a comma
metropolis,
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task achievement
Try to avoid generalizations and include varying viewpoints for a more balanced argument. Provide a few more specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your essay by using more signposting phrases and clear paragraph breaks. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
task achievement
You did a good job of discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, summarizing your main points well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.