Government in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on food and beverages with high level of sugar some think that these taxes are a good idea while other disagree. Discuss both you and give your opinion?

Frequent consumption of sugary drinks is associated with a range of health problems
such
as obesity and vascular issues.
As a result
, many countries have started imposing
taxes
on
sugar
-sweetened
food
and drinks, hoping
this
policy will greatly improve public health regardless of disagreements. In my opinion,
although
the regulations bring benefits to health, it is not enough to prevent everyone from consuming sweetened
food
. Those who oppose
such
laws point out the limits placed on less affluent
customers
. When
taxes
are imposed on specific productions, it is hoped that
customers
will stop buying
such
prohibitively expensive
beverage
Fix the agreement mistake
beverages
show examples
and foods.
Consequently
,
people
in lower socioeconomic groups may purchase considerably less of these drinks and
food
that were subjected to the
tax
.
However
, middle-class and upper-class consumers who do not struggle with a decrease in sugary products
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will keep buying
such
products.
In other words
, these
taxes
will only result in more money for the government's coffers and will not encourage wealthier
people
to live a healthier life. Proponents of
sugar
tax
regulations believe that when you introduce a
tax
on something, you send a signal to
people
that the product is unhealthy. A lot of companies have tapped into a basic human desire for sweets to attract
customers
and build their brands and many
customers
may not be informed of the risks of
sugar
consumption
such
as heart disease or diabetes. By making
such
sugary products more expensive, these
taxes
act as economic disincentives, nudging individuals towards healthier choices and we can eventually break down
people
's dependence on
sugar
to a healthy, moderate level. In conclusion,
although
sugar
tax
can be a valuable tool in promoting a healthier
food
environment, it will not prevent all classes from consuming
sugar
and only a small group of
people
will avoid buying them
due to
a hike in prices.
Submitted by ronakdorrii on

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task response
Your essay is well-organized and addresses the task requirements. However, you can improve it further by including more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This would strengthen your argument and provide a clearer picture of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Work on the flow of ideas within paragraphs. While you maintain a logical structure, transitioning between sentences and ideas could be smoother. Consider using more transitional phrases and linking words to enhance the cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, which clearly present your position on the topic.
task response
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, and you discuss both sides of the argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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