You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
Certain individuals assert that adolescents ought to decide on the occupations that they desire,
while
others contend that they ought to be more pragmatic and consider more about their coming times. In my opinion, young people should pursue their dream Linking Words
job
to reach their personal happiness.
One viewpoint suggests that young people should pursue careers that they are passionate about. Use synonyms
This
approach claims that personal happiness and Linking Words
overall
well-being come after loving a career. They argue that we spend at least one-third of our lives at work. Linking Words
Therefore
, it makes sense that Linking Words
job
satisfaction can lead to Use synonyms
overall
life satisfaction. Linking Words
For example
, there are many people in the world who work at jobs they dislike, and it's easy to understand that they enjoy their jobs less than those who love their occupations.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, being realistic about career choices entails taking into account factors Linking Words
such
as Linking Words
job
stability and financial security. Given the current state of the economy, it makes sense to consider careers that provide sufficient conditions for a better life, Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
also
helping to stabilize family finances. Linking Words
Instead
, some of my friends are more patient and cautious about the future, preferring Linking Words
job
stability and financial insecurity over the possibility of an ideal employment. They argue that if they are idealistic, they won't be able to find a Use synonyms
job
, and even if they do, the Use synonyms
job
would not be able to afford their happiness.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that younger individuals should pursue their target occupation in order to achieve satisfaction and well-being. Use synonyms
However
, some argue that a more pragmatic approach should replace Linking Words
this
insufficient one.Linking Words
Submitted by mkhdermani on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well and engages with both views. However, you could provide more relevant and specific examples to better support your main points. For instance, personal anecdotes or references to well-known individuals who followed their passion or chose practical careers would strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly and comprehensively presented but could benefit from expansion in some areas. Additionally, your conclusion, while summarizing your stance effectively, could reiterate the main points in a more detailed manner to reinforce your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clear transitions between paragraphs. To improve further, enhance the elaboration of the counterargument by providing more detailed reasoning or examples.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively outline and summarize your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Your use of transition phrases such as 'On the other hand' and 'Therefore' helps in maintaining a clear and logical flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
You effectively present both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced approach to the issue.