Some people think parents should teach their children how to be a good members of society. however, believe that school is the best place to learn. Discus
[1:49 pm, 07/07/2024] Dalia: Some would argue that
parents
must learn
their kids how to be Verb problem
teach
a
good Correct article usage
apply
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
while
others claim that school
is the best place
to teach this
for
Change preposition
to
children
. Despite the fact that school
is an important place
for children
, I believe that parents
play a big role in their children
Change noun form
children's
life
.
On one
hand, Correct article usage
the one
school
is a good Change the article
a school
place
for children
as it gave
them Wrong verb form
gives
the
education and Correct article usage
an
help
them in their social Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
life
. The school
may help the kids to expanding
their knowledge but it Change the verb form
expand
didn’t
teach how to act in some Wrong verb form
doesn’t
situation
and Fix the agreement mistake
situations
didn’t
build the Wrong verb form
doesn’t
children
Change noun form
children's
personality
. Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
For example
, the
study Correct article usage
a
in
Qatar University Change preposition
at
show
that Change the verb form
shows
the
Change preposition
of the
children
who study in privet school
, only 40% of them become Fix the agreement mistake
schools
a
good Correct article usage
apply
citizen
. Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
Additionally
, I acknowledge that school
helps children
in different parts in
their Change preposition
of
life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
On the other hand
, parents
always will be the first role models in their children
Change noun form
children's
life
, as they have a big effect on the Fix the agreement mistake
lives
children
Change noun form
children's
personality
. Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
firstly The
Correct your spelling
Firstly the
parents
should learn how to be a good father and mother, it will them to grow up a good person with good personality
, they must always support their children
and give them enough love and care. For instance
, the
Correct article usage
apply
parents
should spend at least one day of the week with their children
, to build a good personality
for their children
. However
, I support the idea that parents
play a big role in their children
Change noun form
children's
life
and help them a lot to be good members.
In conclusion, schools help children
a lot but in different parts in
their Change preposition
of
life
and help them to be a
good Correct article usage
apply
individual
, but Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
also
the parents
should be in their children
Change noun form
children's
life
and always support, love and care about Fix the agreement mistake
lives
children
.
[1:49 pm, 07/07/2024] Dalia: Some people think that parents
should teach their children
how to be good members of society. Others, however
, believe that school
is the best place
to learn this
. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.Submitted by daliaakram35 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and stick to it. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and explanations. This will make your response more comprehensive and help to fully support your main points.
task achievement
Review subject-verb agreement and other grammatical points to reduce errors and increase clarity.
task achievement
You have included both views and provided your own opinion in the conclusion, which is great for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state the topic and your opinion, which helps to structure the essay well.
task achievement
You've made a good attempt to use examples to support your points. This is important for task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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