Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some would argue that the

sports

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facilities should be increasing in number to improve individual

health

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while

Linking Words

others believe that would have negative results on public

health

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and there are many other ways to improve it.

However

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, I firmly support the idea that building more

sports

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facilites

Correct your spelling

facilities

would help people to improve their general

health

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but

also

Linking Words

need to take care of other effects that may happen. On the one hand, doing work out in daily life it's very important for general

health

Use synonyms

Work outs

Correct your spelling

Workouts

show examples

and

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

sports

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help the body to be

Change the word

apply

show examples

healthier,

make

Correct word choice

and make

show examples

the person more active because of the adrenaline.

For example

Linking Words

, my friend in high school when she

feels

Wrong verb form

felt

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sad and lazy,

she

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

went to the Gym and

did work

Wrong verb form

worked

show examples

out to be energetic.

However

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, I believe that

this

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idea

just

Rephrase

only

show examples

improve

Change the verb form

improves

show examples

partially not whole the public's

health

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. On the one hand, people’s general

health

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status could have been improved greatly via exercising. It is proven that working out fastens the amount of oxygen to the brain, helping people be more concentrative and optimistic.

Therefore

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, lack of physical exercise or insufficient physical movements one’s working performance may be impacted and less productive.

For example

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, Hanoi citizens are reported to be healthier than they were because of the availability of exercise equipment right at the local parts.

However

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, I believe that

this

Linking Words

measure

just

Rephrase

only

show examples

improves partially not whole the public’s

health

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. In conclusion, building more

sports

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facilities it's necessary for public

health

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, but

that is

Linking Words

one of many other ways that can help

improv

Correct your spelling

improve

show examples

citizen's

health

Use synonyms

daliaakram35Tue Sep 10 2024

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introduction

Your introduction is clear, but it can be improved by explicitly stating both views that you are going to discuss. Try to briefly summarize both viewpoints before giving your opinion.

paragraph development

Your ideas in both body paragraphs are clear, but they can be developed more effectively. One way you can do this is by providing more specific examples and explanations that support the main points.

conclusion

It would be beneficial to conclude your essay with a summary of the main points discussed and restate your opinion in a more succinct manner.

paragraph structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your main points are consistently backed up with relevant examples and explanation.

clarity

You have expressed your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion, which is good for task achievement.

organization

Your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow your argument.

understanding

You have made an effort to discuss both viewpoints and provide examples, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

newspapers and books are outdated. why do some people believe this? what is your opinion?

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

With the rise of e-books, come the decline in paper books . Some people see this ad a good forward step while others do not. What are advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Describe a career that requires a lot of hard work, but is rewarding in the end. What is the job, and why is it rewarding despite the challenges? Give specific details to support your answer.