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Writing Samples
Band 7

some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

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There is no denying the fact that some
people
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 have a fear of
change
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 in their society and own lives and want
things
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 to stay the same.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and why are often consider
change
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 as a positive impact.
To begin
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 with, there are many causes for
people
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 that they did not want to
change
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 and dislike.
Firstly
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, many
people
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 like the idea of an easy life
such
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 as adaptation and mitigation so they choose the comfort zone.
In other words
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, doing the same
things
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 and activities may reduce the risk of mistakes and failure.
In addition
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, some
people
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 do not have the motivation to have new experiences so they are satisfied with their own
things
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 and have no sufficient ambition.
For example
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, my own brother had an offer from a huge organization
however
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 he refused the offer because of no passion and was afraid of failure. In terms of
change
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 considered a positive thing, because if you learn something new you will gain a strong benefit even if you fail in learning. It is
also
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 possible to say that when you
change
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 something to another thing it leads you to receive experiences from your mistakes.
Moreover
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, learning new
things
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 may assist you to enjoy life and discover new skills inside you.
For instance
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, Elon Mask one of the most successful
people
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 in the world his commercial space flight has exploded in the air three times
however
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 he did not give up and now his programme works. In conclusion, there are many reasons beyond
people
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 who hate
change
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. It is
also
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 true that changes are often regarded as something great.

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task achievement
Try to avoid using informal phrases like 'there is no denying the fact' in an academic essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all examples and ideas presented support the main argument directly and are clearly related to the topic sentences.
task achievement
Develop all ideas fully to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness of the response.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides an introduction and conclusion, clearly outlining the topic and summarizing the discussion.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as mentioning Elon Musk's experiences, are used to support the argument for why change is positive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Status quo
  • Skepticism
  • Inevitable
  • Progression
  • Innovation
  • Cultural identity
  • Familiarity
  • Aversion
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Economic stability
  • Global awareness
  • Personal growth
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