Write your essay here: Government should spend money on railways rather than roads To what extent do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, the vast majority of people come to use
railways
, especially teenagers. The government decided to focus on developing railways
more than roads
. Personally, the claim about this
statement is agreeable. There are reasons to elaborate as follows.
Roads
are the one factor that is
important to our wider society. Population, especially workers, use cars and roads
to jaunt everywhere. We can’t deny that roads
are really essential,
and Remove the comma
apply
also
useful. For example
, Bangkok, which is the capital city of Thailand, uses lots of cars to not only go to do their occupation,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
travel. It is obvious that roads
are one of the factors in our life that are really necessary.
However
, Railways
are more beneficial in almost every country. Most people use railways
to jaunt. Besides
that, railways
really facilitate our life. For instance
, teenagers can travel to meet their friends without annoying their parents or someonelse
. A third point in favour, Correct your spelling
someone else
the
majority of people can avoid traffic jams. Add a missing verb
is the
Thus
, no one can deny that the more railways
, the more convenient our wider society is, while
roads
have traffic jams.
To sum up
, although
roads
are the best way to travel, they are still faced with traffic jams every single day. Personally, I believe that the way that the government decided to spend money on railways
is such
a good way. In addition
, every generation should open their mind to accept new things.Submitted by dondollaraus on
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task response
The essay presents a clear position and attempts to support it with reasons and examples. However, there is a need for more detailed and developed arguments to achieve a higher score. Consider expanding on your points and providing more specific examples and evidence.
task response
Ensure to fully develop each point with examples and analysis to avoid generalizations. For instance, discussing how railways might benefit the economy or reduce pollution could provide more depth.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow and progression of your ideas. Ensure each paragraph seamlessly transitions to the next, maintaining a clear connection between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points and reinforces your position.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding topic sentences to each paragraph to better guide the reader and improve the overall structure of the essay.
task response
The essay begins with a clear introduction, stating your position on the topic.
task response
You provide relevant examples, such as the situation in Bangkok, which supports your argument well.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion reiterates your position and addresses the main points discussed in the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?