You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Write at least 250 words
Education has become essential in
this
modern era, where many people seek to study to get a certificate. So students
are expected to dedicate enough time
to their studies. However
, there may be some circumstances that make some students
work, and therefore
, they will not have much time
for their studies. In this
essay, I will discuss the reasons for this
problem and try to recommend some possible solutions.
Students
have different situations and circumstances. Some of them are forced to work while
they are in their universities or schools. I think the main reason for this
would be that they are in financial need and try to earn money by getting part- or full-time
employment, so they can depend on themselves and pay for their tuition and expenses. Therefore
, this
would affect their educational results, as they would not have enough time
to study for their courses and exams, in addition
to putting them under constant pressure.
I can recommend some suggestions to solve this
problem. First of all, if universities offer scholarships, students
would apply for them. Also
, governments could give financial aid to the students
who need it. By doing so, students
will be motivated and dedicated to finding time
to study well instead
of spending this
time
working, therefore
, it will positively affect their grades.
In conclusion, it is clear that
student’s results and feelings would be negatively affected if they work while
studying. This
is mainly because of the time
lacking for studying. Some solutions that can be suggested to reduce this
problem are convincing universities and governments to offer scholarships and financial aids
, so Fix the agreement mistake
aid
students
can benefit from them.Submitted by jawdat.lubadeh123 on
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task achievement
The essay comprehensively addresses the task by discussing the causes and suggesting solutions for students working while studying. To improve further, ensure that the solutions provided are more specific and detailed, incorporating real-world examples or case studies where possible.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, ensure there is a better linkage between each paragraph to enhance overall flow. Consider using more transitional phrases such as 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'Furthermore' to better connect your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
While the main points are supported, try to provide more in-depth examples and evidence to strengthen your argument. This can include statistics, studies, or specific anecdotes that illustrate the financial burdens of students and the impact of scholarships or financial aid.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clearly defined structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
The writer addresses both the causes and solutions effectively, ensuring the response is complete and well-rounded.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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