Some educationalist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do advantages outweight the disadvantages.

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Few researchers argue that exchange
programs
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will have a variety of positive impacts on young
people
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,
such
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as teenagers. Personally, I agree with said argument because the advantages it has outweigh the drawbacks. International visit
programs
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for students have bloomed lately. Many of those
programs
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offer exceptional benefits for the awardees and it instantly sparked the public interest, especially teenagers.
However
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, with the huge amount of money used to fund the recipient, many
people
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disagree with the concept. They believe that the costs can be used for better purposes like ensuring that all
people
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in a country receive the education they deserve, equally.
For instance
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, around 40% of the students in rural areas in Indonesia have not got the proper education
due to
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lack of facilities and opportunities.
This
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obviously can be fixed if the government can use the scholarship money for
this
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purpose
instead
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.
On the other hand
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, going abroad can
also
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give young
people
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countless benefits if it is done right.
First,
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it will open up a wide variety of opportunities for them. They will be learning in a place
that is
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undoubtedly better than their initial school.
Additionally
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, they will
also
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meet lots of new friends and educationalists who can help them with their future. If that can go on, it can be a really good opportunity for the countries involved to build relations. Eventually, with all the knowledge that they have, they can come back to their countries to help build and achieve the nation's purposes. We can take the late Habibie as an example. He was a genius from Indonesia who had done his education in Germany. He worked hard to reach his ambitions and when he came back, he brought many positive benefits for Indonesia's development. In conclusion, International exchange has indeed many advantages.
Hence
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why the
programs
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should be continued in order to achieve the person's goals and the nation's purposes.
Submitted by elissa223 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are directly relevant to this main idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a stronger logical progression throughout the essay using linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Provide more balanced coverage of both the advantages and disadvantages, with each being developed equivalently.
task achievement
Include specific, detailed examples to support your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educationalist
  • International exchange visit
  • Intercultural understanding
  • Language acquisition
  • Personal growth
  • Global awareness
  • International relationships
  • Culture shock
  • Global citizens
  • Support systems
  • Inclusive
  • Scholarships
  • Cultural differences
  • Homesickness
  • Educational institutions
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