The graph shows changes in the sales of musical instruments in the UK from 2008 to the present and gives predictions for future sales.

The graph shows changes in the sales of musical instruments in the UK from 2008 to the present and gives predictions for future sales.
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The line chart illustrates the number of four kinds of musical instruments which were sold in the UK over the period of 13 years and
also
Linking Words
predicts the future. In general, the percentage of these instruments dropped strongly during the period.
In addition
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, Guitars had the highest point for
sales
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and Pianos had the lowest percentage for those years. It is clearly seen that from 2008 – 2011, all instruments
sales
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decreased strongly, at around 5%, except trumpets,
just
Correct pronoun usage
which just
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fell over 1%.
However
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, after 2011, guitars
and
Correct word choice
apply
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drums and percussion increased dramatically
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
sales
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, and the proportion of guitars reached a peak at about 23% before falling down by half
at the end
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. And about drums and percussion, the number of
sales
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fluctuated before remained stable from 2016 and stood at almost 10%
at the end
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of the period. Turning to the
sales
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of trumpets and pianos, both of them went down before rising slightly from 2019 at around 5% and 4% respectively in 2020-2021.
Submitted by duyuyen18 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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