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Band 6

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest more resource in its young age people. How true do you think of it ? What is the best way to invest resources?

#country #future #resource #age #people #resources
Some say that having a plan for the
future
 is not useful and
instead
, you should focus on the time of the present,
this
 essay will disagree completely with
this
 statement because caring for the
future
 leads to a good
future
life
 and more than that, the present will be the
future
. One of the most important things in
life
 is to have a clear path to living, without that our lives will be random if we do not have expectations for upcoming events that will lead to hard times,
for example
,
according to
 a study for Harvard University 85 % of happy people those who have a plan for each thing in their
life
 and especially their
future
. Planning gives us proper preparation for situations, and with it, we can be ready for anything,
for instance
, when the teacher gives the student a date for an exam,
this
 exam will be in
future
 and some students go to the test without studying they will fail, in the opposite, a student is preparing will succeed easily, for another example when the person has a job interview it would be in his best interest to think about what will say in the interview and what will he wear. In conclusion, it is helpful for people to be ready always and they do not need certain
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
expectations, and the real waste of time is a random
life
 and not having knowledge of any
future
 event that will make it difficult for them.
Submitted by ahmedaziz9811 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear thesis statement. However, your arguments could be strengthened with more detailed supporting points and specific examples. For instance, instead of simply stating that having a plan leads to a good future, you could provide examples of long-term planning resulting in success.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use transition words to guide the reader through your essay. The points made in each paragraph should clearly support your thesis statement.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on your points to fully develop your argument. For example, instead of simply mentioning a job interview, discuss specific strategies for preparation and how they lead to better outcomes.
coherence cohesion
It would be beneficial to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and sophisticated. This will also help in making your points clearer and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which help in framing your argument well.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt effectively and provided a structured response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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