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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map below shows the development of the museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the development of the museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The map illustrates the expansion of
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
 from 2010 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,
area
Correct article usage
the area
show examples
 of the
museum
Use synonyms
 was expanded with some additional areas on the
right
Use synonyms
 of the building,
such
Linking Words
 as
shop
Correct article usage
a shop
show examples
 and cafe. In 2010, there was one entrance to the
museum
Use synonyms
 with a ticket desk on the left. The
museum
Use synonyms
 consisted of three main exhibition areas,
such
Linking Words
 as Ocean Hall, Dinosaurus, and Mammals
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 were located on the left building. Outside of the
museum
Use synonyms
 was still covered by
garden
Correct article usage
a garden
show examples
 and trees which was located on the
right
Use synonyms
 of the map. After 3 years of development, the
museum
Use synonyms
 had been expanded with some new areas on the
right
Use synonyms
 of the map. The garden was demolished
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and replaced by new
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as
shop
Correct article usage
a shop
show examples
 and cafe. The display of mammals was moved to the
right
Use synonyms
 building,
together with
Linking Words
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 origins display. On the left of the
museum
Use synonyms
, the building was renovated to get more space for placing new items,
such
Linking Words
 as Ice Age and Insects.
Then
Linking Words
, the remaining halls remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as before construction.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, right with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "display" was used 2 times.
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