All over the world,societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity?How could it be tackled?

Over the past few years, it has become less important than having a healthy
diet
and always sport.
As a result
, it is becoming evident that obesity is a serious
problem
that adults and youngsters suffer. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will look at the reasons for
this
trend and propose some solutions. One of the main causes of
this
problem
is that
people
eat too much unhealthy food and have a poor
diet
.
People
eat underdone food like junk food
instead
of proteins and vitamins. Children with poor diets run the risk of growth and can persist for the rest of their lives as being overweight. In the USA,
for example
,
people
consume white flour which has
poor
Fix the agreement mistake
a lower
show examples
nutritional value than other grains. Dealing with these
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
people
should get their proper nutrition from a balanced
diet
by consuming fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains, legumes and lean proteins. Another
problem
is that many
people
are less active. A sedentary lifestyle is beckoning more and more children, meaning that youngsters may
in
Add a missing verb
be in
show examples
line with obesity or even inadequate development. Children are obsessed with video games and are unable to organize their regime of sports. Added to
this
is the strain main resulting from being inactive. To tackle
this
problem
people
should do regular sport. When you are physically active your heart and muscles, get a chance to reduce additional fat and stimulate the release of endorphins. A third cause of the
problem
is the high amount of stress. Daily stresses
also
contribute to some level of harm involved in hunger and society and can empower cognitive processes
such
as self-regulation stress causes hormonal changes that can increase sugar and blood levels in the blood, causing
people
to crave foods high in calories, fat and sugar. Take the USA as an example.
According to
medical researchers, in the US more than 40 per cent of
people
are obese, because of a stressful lifestyle.
This
problem
could be addressed by getting enough sleep. Getting enough energy can help
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
think clearly and have more energy.
To sum up
,
having
Verb problem
being
show examples
too
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
overweight has been jumping for a long time,
due to
reasons
such
as poor
diet
, sedentary lifestyle and stress.
This
is a serious
problem
and unless we tackle
this
problem
we might face plentiful deaths because of obesity among both
grown-upand
Correct your spelling
grown-ups
and youngsters. My view is that
people
who are overweight should obey to balanced
diet
, do regular sport and enough sleep.
Submitted by nursultonergashov19 on

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introduction
Clarify the introduction: Mention explicitly that the focus will be on causes and solutions for obesity to set a clear context.
support
Develop examples further: Provide more details about how specific examples support your points to make your arguments stronger.
conclusion
Conclusion improvement: Reinforce the main points clearly and stress the importance of the proposed solutions for a better impact.
structure
Clear structure: The essay is clearly divided into ideas about causes and solutions, making it easy to follow.
topic sentence
Good topic sentences: Each body paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea.
content
Variety of causes and solutions: You cover a range of reasons for obesity and propose diverse solutions, which enhances the depth of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Overweight
  • Epidemic
  • Sedentary
  • Processed food
  • Fast food
  • Nutritional education
  • Awareness
  • Stress
  • Emotional eating
  • Genetic factors
  • Access
  • Healthy food options
  • Marketing
  • Urbanization
  • Lifestyles
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