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Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to the present time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to the present time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#maps #show #changes #school #time #information #features #comparisons
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The given maps illustrate the changes made to a
school
Use synonyms
’s buildings and layout between 1985 and the present day.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
school
Use synonyms
 has undergone significant expansion to accommodate an increase in the student population from 1,500 to 2,300. The improvements include additional classrooms, a new fitness
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, and a pool,
while
Linking Words
 the playing fields have been reduced in size. In 1985, the
school
Use synonyms
 had a simple layout. A rectangular road connected the entrance and exit, with a
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 located centrally. To the east of the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
, there was a two-storey classroom block,
while
Linking Words
 other classrooms were positioned near the western side. A library was located behind the classroom and
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
addition
Replace the word
additional
show examples
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 a large playing field occupied the majority of the southern part of the
school
Use synonyms
. In the current layout, the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 has been expanded into a semi-circular shape. The classroom block has been extended to three storeys, and a new set of classrooms has been added to the south. The library has been replaced by a learning resources
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, which includes a computer room.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a fitness
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and pool have been constructed adjacent to the playing fields, which have been reduced in size. New trees have
also
Linking Words
 been planted, adding a green area in the
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
school
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, center, car, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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