Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People
can be split into two groups. Some tend to have a job in the same place all their life, others prefer to change often.
Having a career for the same company lots of time has its advantages. For example
, having a marriage and kids is easier staying in the same city for a certain period. In addition
, you have more possibilities to know people
better and create bonds to make some life-long friendships. On the other hand
, relationship
with your coworkers cannot be all fun and games. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
For instance
, my father's boss didn't treat him and his colleagues well, leading to years of agony in the workplace obligating him to leave.
Working in different locations, however
, also
has its pros and cons. First of all, it expands your horizons moving, for example
, abroad or in different cities. There you can meet tons of people
and understand new cultures! However
, not very social characters can find it difficult to adapt to a new place and create connections with other people
easily.
In conclusion, I believe that balance should be in everyone's lives and both experiences should be done once in a lifetime. I think is better to move around while
being younger while
you have lots of energy to enrich your cultural background and learn new skills. Afterwards, when getting older stabilize in a spot you are comfortable with to plants
roots and raise a family.Wrong verb form
plant
Submitted by alessandro.talese on
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task response
Your essay addresses the task prompt well by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. However, to achieve a higher score, you could expand on each point with more depth and detail.
coherence and cohesion
While your main points are clear, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try using linking words or phrases to show the relationship between points more clearly, and ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
task response
Ensure that each main idea is thoroughly developed and supported with detailed examples. Your example about your father's experience is good, but adding more examples or statistics can strengthen your arguments.
introduction and conclusion
Your introduction is brief and could be more engaging. Consider adding a hook or a more detailed explanation of the issue at hand. Your conclusion could also summarize the main points in a more comprehensive manner.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For instance, 'Having a career for the same company lots of time' should be 'Having a career with the same company for a long time.'
task response
You have addressed both views on the topic, which is good for task response.
task response
Your opinion is clearly stated in the conclusion, which shows a clear task achievement.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples that help illustrate your points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?