IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.

The public is generally divided on whether choosing the
Internet
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 to store
knowledge
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 is the best choice. I agree up to a point with the view that in spite of the potential benefits, it still has disadvantages in storing
information
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 on the
Internet
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. On the one hand, many countries still have poor
people
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, who have no finance to own a smart device. If
knowledge
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 is only stored on the
Internet
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, they will lose a chance to study and educate.
Secondly
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, the
Internet
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 allows everyone to post freely and share their
information
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,
therefore
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 massive wrong
information
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 has appeared.
For example
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, the Wikipedia website is well-known
that
Correct word choice
and
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 allows
users
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 to repair data and add heterodox
knowledge
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on
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to
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 the website.
However
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,
users
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 who want to achieve the right
information
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,
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apply
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 could use orthodox websites
such
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 as Google Scholar, Bookboon, and ResearchGate, ...
On the other hand
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, storing
knowledge
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 on the
Internet
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 brings a lot of convenience for
users
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 just have a smart device to study everywhere
such
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 as on the bus, in the park, and in the cafe shop, ...
In addition
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, a small device can obtain enormous
information
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, so that
users
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 do not
to
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have to
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 carry heavy books. In the past,
people
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 who wanted to learn English had to use a thick dictionary to search
definitions
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for definitions
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 of new words; but nowadays, students can search
new
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for new
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 words on many orthodox online dictionaries or websites. In conclusion, during the development of technology and science, choosing the
Internet
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 to store
knowledge
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 brings advantages for humans.
Nevertheless
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, it has a drawback for poor
people
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 to study and explore new
knowledge
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, the government should take care of these
people
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 to make a
chance
Correct your spelling
change
show examples
 in their academic path.

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task achievement
Aim to enhance your arguments by including more specific and detailed examples. This will strengthen your points and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring smoother transitions between your ideas and paragraphs. This will help enhance the coherence and flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a well-rounded response.
coherence cohesion
You have touched upon both advantages and disadvantages of storing knowledge on the internet, demonstrating a balanced understanding of the topic.
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