IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities.

The graph shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities.
The line graph depicts the average monthly
temperature
Use synonyms
 fluctuations in
Paris
Use synonyms
,
Boston
Use synonyms
, and
Melbourne
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Boston
Use synonyms
 had the most extreme
temperature
Use synonyms
 differences, followed by
Paris
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 was relatively warmer.
Boston
Use synonyms
 had the coldest winter, where temperatures remained below 10
degrees
Use synonyms
 in the
months
Use synonyms
 of January, February, and March.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 rose significantly in the following
months
Use synonyms
, reaching approximately 32
degrees
Use synonyms
 in August. In the following
months
Use synonyms
, it again plummeted exponentially, touching 5
degrees
Use synonyms
 in December.
Paris
Use synonyms
 followed a similar trend, with temperatures between 5 to 15
degrees
Use synonyms
 from January to April, following which it rose gradually to 24
degrees
Use synonyms
 in the
months
Use synonyms
 of July and August.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 dropped steadily to nearly 10
degrees
Use synonyms
 by December.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 was warmer during the
months
Use synonyms
 of January to April with a
temperature
Use synonyms
 ranging between 20 to 26
degrees
Use synonyms
, followed by a little colder four
months
Use synonyms
, upon which the
temperature
Use synonyms
 again returned above 20
degrees
Use synonyms
 in the month of September and stayed warm till the end of the year. In conclusion,
Boston
Use synonyms
 experienced the hottest summer and the coldest winter,
however
Linking Words
,
Paris
Use synonyms
 was a close second.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 of
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 stayed between 15 to 26
degrees
Use synonyms
 throughout the year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, paris, boston, melbourne, degrees, months with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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