A government has a responsibility to its citizen to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

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A country is run by officials and it is their responsibility to safeguard its citizens by providing necessary

services

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. It is believed by some people that to do the same, the government should allocate a large amount of money to military

services

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rather than to society-related

services

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This

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essay will argue why spending on social

services

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is equally important as

defense

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defence

show examples

. People are in

favor

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favour

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of investing high finances in the armed forces.

This

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is because they considered it as a top priority which guarantees citizen

safety

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In other words

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, if authorities prioritize security borders by maintaining a strong military presence it has a deterrent effect on threats.

However

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, there should be a comprehensive

safety

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that covers other areas as well which ensures social stability because some of these are devoid of the number of facilities that the government is not attentive to. The officials must be mindful of other aspects of the nation.

Firstly

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, social benefits contribute to societal welfare and reduce inequality, which is

also

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a form of

safety

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Secondly

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, higher military budgets lead to cuts in social welfare programs which could adversely affect education, healthcare, and support for the vulnerable sectors of society. The Indigenous population, an example, has been proved by research as a most highest population prone to diseases

such

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as diabetes and cancer

due to

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facing inequality in accessing healthcare facilities.

Hence

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, the health sector including other sectors

also

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requires the government's attention. In conclusion,

although

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safety

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is the main reason in terms of

defense

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defence

show examples

for some people, they are more in

favor

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favour

show examples

of the allocation of money on

this

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, but it is equally imperative that authorities should take steps towards other fields because of lacking resources for vulnerable groups.

neetpunarSun Jan 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed logically. Some points may need further elaboration for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

Work on making a stronger connection between your main points and the thesis statement. Each paragraph should distinctly support your overall position on the prompt.

task achievement

While the essay attempts to address the prompt, consider expanding on the reasoning and implications behind your opinions for a more thorough response.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your arguments. This makes your essay more persuasive and demonstrates a better understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

National security
Defence budget
Social welfare
Military expenditure
Trade-offs
Citizen safety
Social stability
Healthcare
Education
Vulnerable sectors
Inequality
Opportunity cost
Resource allocation
International relations
Diplomacy
Public opinion
Military presence
Deterrence
Alliances

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A government has a responsibility to its citizen to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

Your opinion

Some people believe that our happiness depend on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness.’ Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcycles are banned from the city center. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?