IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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While
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 in some countries
students
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 live with their families during
university
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 education in pursuit of a career, in others they move to another city to study at a
university
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. Deciding whether to live away from home during
university
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 involves a pros-versus-cons kind of situation in all those respects.
In
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For
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 many
students
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, living away from home means an enhancement of one's sense of independence and a thrust toward personal growth. It instills some life-enhancing values, like learning how to manage finances
,
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apply
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 and do daily tasks all by oneself.
This
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 lifestyle will make the
student
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students
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 more self-sufficient and prepare them for the challenges lying ahead in
professional
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their professional
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 and personal
life
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lives
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. Living in a new city
also
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 allows for greater social exposure and a need for greater social skills development adding to the experience of
university
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.
However
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, there are some important disadvantages to take into account. In terms of finance, rent, utilities, and other living expenses like food and clothes could be large. For many,
this
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 can be stressful and may call for part-time work. Another problem is that
students
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 may find difficulty in balancing social activities with
the
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apply
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academic ones,
that
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which
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 may be of potential
distractions
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distraction
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. The excitement of a new city may be refreshing, especially to foreign
students
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, but it sometimes impairs the focus on academics.
As
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In
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a
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apply
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conclusion,
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
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 the benefits outweigh the drawbacks is all at the discretion of each and every individual, even though personally I believe for the disciplined student the points mentioned previously won't be a decisive factor in the choice of
university
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.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task and covers both the benefits and drawbacks of living away from home during university. However, you could provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is quite good, with a clear progression of ideas. However, some parts could benefit from smoother transitions to enhance the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, but adding more detailed examples would make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, discussing both pros and cons of living away from home during university.
task achievement
The ideas you have presented are clear and logical, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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