You are planning to go and study English at a school overseas. You would like some information about their courses. Write a letter to the school. In your letter ask about the school say what kind of accommodation you want mention any special requests you have (for example diet).

#study #english #school #information #courses #accommodation #requests #diet

Hello Sir/Mam, I am writing about the 3 months course offered by your

school

. If it is convenient, I would like to ask you

some

Change preposition

for some

show examples

additional

infromation

Correct your spelling

information

about

school

and

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

. I know your

school

is one of the most popular

school

Change to a plural noun

schools

show examples

area

Add an article

the area

show examples

but

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show examples

was curious if you

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

some more

detail

Fix the agreement mistake

details

show examples

like the location and other nearby facilities.

As well as

, if you can share some images of the room and the

equipmets

Correct your spelling

equipment

which I have to use for

course

Add an article

a course

the course

show examples

that

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be great.

Moreover

, I am

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

introvert

Replace the word

introverted

show examples

person

also

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show examples

don't like to share anything with others. As it was mentioned in

Add an article

an email

the email

show examples

that you will be providing the

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

for three months so i would like to request you that please give me a single

bed room

Correct your spelling

bedroom

show examples

and if possible on the ground floor as

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show examples

afarid

Correct your spelling

afraid

height

Fix the agreement mistake

heights

show examples

Furthermore

, I

also

want to let you know about my diet. Being a

gymnastic

Replace the word

gymnast

show examples

I have to follow a very strict diet plan provided by my coach. So, I have specific items which I need on

daily

Correct article usage

a daily

show examples

basis

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particulat

Correct your spelling

particular

time. To make

thet

Correct your spelling

this

easy I

attched

Correct your spelling

attached

photo copy

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photocopy

show examples

of my diet routine. I hope you will make these all

arrangments

Correct your spelling

arrangements

show examples

before my joining. Yours faithfully, Mandeep

Submitted by mandeep10022 on Wed Sep 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, consider reorganizing some of your sentences for better flow. For example, mention your accommodation preferences before asking about the school facilities. This can make your letter more logically structured.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your sentences are clear and concise. This will help improve the overall readability of your letter.

task achievement

While your letter is generally polite and formal, it can be even more polished by avoiding minor spelling and grammatical errors. Proofreading can help.

task achievement

You provided a thorough response to the task, including all the requisite details about accommodation, dietary needs, and course information.

coherence cohesion

Your closing statement was polite and concise, summing up your expectations clearly.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

217 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You are planning to go and study English at a school overseas. You would like some information about their courses. Write a letter to the school. In your letter ask about the school say what kind of accommodation you want mention any special requests you have (for example diet).

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV,Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled?

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? (Write 250 words.)

Smoking is not only harm to smoker but also those who are near by.Therefore smoking should banned in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them.

Some people argue that government should spend their money on elderly people's care. However, other people say that government should focus more on education for young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.