In recent years, farming practice has changed to include methods such as factory farming and the use of technology to improve crops. Some people believe these developments are necessary, while others regard them as dangerous and advocate a return to more traditional farming methods. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion
In
past
few years, Correct article usage
the past
intrusion
of technological devices and sophisticated methods have been increased in Correct article usage
the intrusion
farming
process in order to improve crops. Some Correct article usage
the farming
people
argue that such
developments are crucial , whereas
others think which
Correct pronoun usage
they
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
the
detrimental effects Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
on
huamn
Correct your spelling
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
as
Change preposition
in
return
. Add an article
a return
Although
, innovative methods brings
some negative impacts , I believe, technological Change the verb form
bring
improvments
give more benefits Correct your spelling
improvements
for
the farming process.
On the one hand , majority of the Change preposition
to
people
support the idea of
technological methods give more Change preposition
that
postive
aspects . One of the prominent Correct your spelling
positive
reason
is that using sophisticated ideas can reduce the Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
farmers
workload. To be more precise, when technological devices Change to a genitive case
farmer's
farmers'
such
as tractor
, Fix the agreement mistake
tractors
rottehecters
, Correct word choice
and rottehecters
that helps
convenient Verb problem
are
to
farming, which are likely to Change preposition
for
saving
time and money. Wrong verb form
save
For instance
, if farmers need to harvesting
the paddy land , they require many days to harvest by hand , Change the verb
harvest
whereas
if they using
Wrong verb form
use
machineries
that consumes only a few days. Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
Furthermore
, using of
technology Change preposition
apply
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
allowes
Correct your spelling
allows
to
get Correct pronoun usage
one to
massive
Add an article
a massive
amount
of income. Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
In other words
, if farmers using
Wrong verb form
use
the
genetically improved Correct article usage
apply
seed
Fix the agreement mistake
seeds
which
produce enormously thanCorrect pronoun usage
they
the
traditional seeds. Correct article usage
apply
Since researchers
made some genetic coding in crops that can survive as long as possible. Correct word choice
Researchers
For instance
, in cold countries
they produce cool resistant plants with Add a comma
countries,
help
of technological improvements asCorrect article usage
the help
,
that can help to Remove the comma
apply
fulfill
their food Change the spelling
fulfil
necessit
. Correct your spelling
necessities
necessity
Thus
, people
encourage
to Wrong verb form
are encouraged
including
technology in farming.
Despite, these Replace the word
include
postive
factors, some Correct your spelling
positive
of
others claim that practicing Change preposition
apply
technological
would be vulnerable for human Replace the word
technology
being
and they suggest Fix the agreement mistake
beings
to return
to the Change the verb form
returning
treditional
process. I think they say mainly because of endangered Correct your spelling
traditional
species
. To illustates
that when new Correct your spelling
illustrate
illustrates
species
introducded
that likely to affect Correct your spelling
introduced
the
human health . Correct article usage
apply
Thus
, people
get trouble to
Change preposition
apply
adated
to the new variety of foods. Correct your spelling
adapted
For instance
, in Asia most people
eat rice as their primary food , rice species
are ideal for every region, thus
they faced
difficulties Wrong verb form
face
to adopt
the new rice Change preposition
in adopting
species
.
To conclude
, eventhough
including innovative technology Correct your spelling
even though
made
some detrimental effects Verb problem
had
in
farming , Change preposition
on
i
believe, these practices become more Change the capitalization
I
usful
for future generations Correct your spelling
useful
as well as
present
population.Correct article usage
the present
Submitted by jivenica1998 on
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coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss, and your conclusion summarizes these points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. At times, the connection between sentences and paragraphs can be improved.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of words and phrases. Use synonyms and different structures to make your writing more varied and engaging.
task achievement
You have addressed both viewpoints on the topic, which is necessary for a complete response. However, be careful with grammatical accuracy and choice of vocabulary to express your ideas clearly.
task achievement
You have provided specific examples, which strengthens your argument. Ensure your examples are directly linked to your main points and are explained clearly.
task achievement
To improve clarity, rephrase sentences that seem ambiguous or overly complex. Simple, clear sentences are often more effective at conveying your ideas.
task achievement
You have successfully provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is crucial for task achievement.
task achievement
Including specific examples helps to strengthen your arguments and makes your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively reiterates your opinion, reinforcing your stance on the topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general