IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks now.

#plans #show #harbour
The maps illustrate the improvements made in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
harbour
, the differences were between 2000 and now.
Overall
, there are several changes in
this
harbour
. The plans indicate some areas that were replaced, removed,
added
Correct word choice
and added
show examples
 to the
harbour
.
According to
 what is depicted, in 2000, there was a castle in the
south right
Add a hyphen
south-right
show examples
 corner,
also
 there was a public beach next to the castle. Nowadays, the castle was demolished and replaced with a hotel.
In addition
, the hotel
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a good view
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the beach which became specifically for the hotel ,
also
 now there is a pass to the main road. Previously, there was
not a
Rephrase
no
show examples
 refreshment source, but now they construct cafes and shops
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
 the
life boat
Correct your spelling
lifeboat
show examples
. In the
past
Add a comma
past,
show examples
 there was only
one
 entry to the parking from the main road. Recently, they built a new entry to the parking area.
While
 there was only a dock, now there is an additional
one
. In 2000, it is shown that there was
one
bathrooms
Change the noun form
bathroom
show examples
 zone. Currently, there is
one
 more.
To sum up
, it can be said that there were many enhancements in the
harbour
. Now there are more facilities which could assist the workers and visitors.
Submitted by moha.aleid2017 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific details and examples to fully cover all parts of the task.
task achievement
Work on ensuring that each main point is supported with relevant examples for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical connections between ideas and consider rephrasing certain sentences for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Use varied linking words and phrases to improve the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear structure to the essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to illustrate the changes in the harbour.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • multi-purpose building
  • recreational facilities
  • maritime safety
  • leisure destination
  • tourism-focused
  • infrastructure improvements
  • pedestrian promenade
  • landmark
  • expanded roads
  • transport infrastructure
  • industrial use
  • cruise ship terminal
What to do next:
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