some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Individuals believe that the good time for someone who wants to marry should be at least 21 years old. I strongly agree with
this
statement. In this
essay, I will describe why we should consider our age
to make a family. People
that have enough age
to marry (above 21) will have a big capacity for thinking so in a relationship, if there are some problems they can make a wise decision. Moreover
, they can obtain money effectively by working to continue their life.
To begin
with, individuals marrying at the age
of 21 will have large capabilities of thinking. These will help them to solve their problem wisely. They can keep their relationship continuously. For instance
, in 2015 there was a news state that the man divorcing his wife because she did not excuse her husband to go to the coffee shop. Actually, this
is an easy obstacle, but they can solve it because of their limited thinking. Therefore
, with enough age
, we can create a good solution to face the problem.
On the other hand
, as married people
they should acquire money to fulfil their needs. Usually, employers search for Add a comma
people,
people
that have enough age
to work, like 23 or above. For example
, nowadays many people
are struggling to obtain a job because they do not meet the requirements , especially due to
the
Change the word
their
limit
Replace the word
limited
of
Change preposition
apply
age
. Furthermore
, individuals have to obtain a good occupation before deciding to get married.
To conclude
, young people
have to consider some aspects before getting married in order to maintain their relationship. They should have enough age
and good thinking to solve the problem. In addition
, having an appropriate job will help them to maintain their bonding
.Replace the word
bond
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
Try to include more detailed examples to make your points stronger. Use real-life cases or data to provide depth to your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the transition between paragraphs is seamless. While each paragraph focuses on distinct ideas, linking them together would enhance the flow.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
Your argument is relevant to the topic and you provide a complete response addressing both aspects of the question.