IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You are applying for a job. As well as attaching a CV, you need to write a cover letter explaining your reasons for choosing this particular job at this particular company, and why you would be a good hire. Things to include are: – Possible qualifications or reasons for you to be hired – Your energy and enthusiasm for the job – Your past experience in a similar position.

Dear Hiring Manager, I am writing to express my enthusiastic interest in the
Sales
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 Representative position, Job ID 1456, at XYZ Enterprise as advertised in the local newspaper. Having followed XYZ Enterprise's work in the field of
sales
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 for some time, I am particularly impressed by your commitment towards noble causes. Your contribution towards charity deeply resonated with my values. My qualifications and experience align well with the requirements outlined in the job description. For the past two years, I have worked as a
Sales
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 Analyst at ABC group of companies, where I was responsible for increasing
sales
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. To fulfill my duties I played a proactive role in implementing strategies that played a vital role in boosting the
sales
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 of our products. I believe
this
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 makes me an ideal candidate for
this
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 role as my experience, education and understanding of supply and demand demographics would allow me to quickly contribute to your team's success. I am eager to bring my energy and dedication to XYZ enterprise and contribute to your continued success. Thank you for considering my application. I have attached my resume for your review and welcome the opportunity to discuss my qualifications
further
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 in an interview. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, John Doe

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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This will help the reader follow your message better.
task achievement
Include more specific examples of your achievements in your past job. This can help show your skills more clearly.
task achievement
You show great enthusiasm for the company and the job, which is very appealing.
coherence cohesion
Your closing is polite and invites further discussion, which is a good way to end a letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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