IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driver less. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driver less vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driver #people #vehicles #passengers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a prediction that all the
vehicles
 will be self-driving in the time ahead and they will be only placed by the passengers inside them.
This
 essay is about to discuss plenty of benefits and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks of
this
 innovation. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
autonomous-driving
cars
 will save
energy
 and money. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicles
 can be driven without
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
,
people
 do not need to learn how to drive. Owing to
this
 phenomenon, they can save money to purchase something else and the
energy
 to do the driving lessons can be used
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other activities.
For example
, Honda released an electric
robo-car
Correct your spelling
robocar
 called NeuV in 2018, it was claimed to drive automatically to more than 20,000 km in a year. By using
this
 auto-car,
people
 can
also
reducing
Change the verb form
reduce
be reducing
show examples
 gas pollution because it uses electricity
energy
instead
 of fuel.
Therefore
, driverless
vehicles
 are not solely beneficial for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
,
this
 innovation can help to address
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 issues as well.
In contrast
, unemployment problems can
be happen
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
due to
 self-driving
cars
. As
people
 do not need
drivers
 to operate their
cars
 anymore, it will
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
people
 who work as
drivers
lost
Verb problem
to lose
show examples
 their jobs.
For instance
, Taxi
drivers
 use their driving capability to do their jobs. As all
vehicles
 use technology, the
drivers
 will be fired once the autonomous
cars
 are officially operated in all places.
As a result
, the
rata
Correct your spelling
rate
show examples
 of jobless
people
 will
increate
Correct your spelling
increase
show examples
 rapidly. In conclusion, I personally believe that driverless
vehicles
 have more advantages in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
energy
 saving, even though
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
 number of
unemployments
Correct your spelling
unemployment
show examples
.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, covering both the potential advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles. However, to improve, you can provide more detailed examples or statistical data to support your points.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly presented and well-explained. Simplify complex sentences to clarify your arguments and prevent misunderstandings. For instance, breaking down the benefits and disadvantages into separate, clearly defined points will enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, you might want to refine your paragraph transitions. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next to maintain coherence. Using suitable linking words and phrases can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
The points you make are relevant and structured well, but support your arguments with more specific examples or case studies where feasible. This will help to strengthen your main points and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your main points effectively.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomous vehicles
  • driverless technology
  • human error
  • traffic congestion
  • optimal route planning
  • mobility
  • driving-related professions
  • personal control
  • ethical issues
  • legal issues
  • emergency situations
  • surveillance
  • privacy
  • environmental impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: