More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think aThe solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the growing number of obese people in the contemporary world, some suggest that raising the cost of fatty
food
could be an effective measure to tackle this
issue. Despite this
proposal might have negative ramification
, It is likely to be a predominantly advantageous approach Fix the agreement mistake
ramifications
due to
demotivating customers and decreasing the advertisement to people.
On the one hand, there is one rational reason why this
method should not be implemented since calorie-dense food
is not one of the main reason
, Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
the
obesity epidemic. Change preposition
for the
This
is because there are many other factors that cause increasingly obese individuals, including nutritional education, doing
exercise or a sedentary lifestyle. Unnecessary verb
apply
Therefore
, the price surge is not an effective solution while
the government should consider running campaigns about nutrition or healthy lifestyle to raise awareness for residents.
On the other hand
, there are some significant benefits that could help to decrease the number of consumers of high-fat food
. The first rational
is that Correct your spelling
rationale
this
suggestion could demotivate potential customers as they are sensitive to changes in price. In Mexico, for instance
, the government implemented a tax on sugary drinks and junk food
which helped to decrease the percentage of obese individuals after that. Secondly
, raising the cost of fattening food
could make plenty of restaurants or food
chains less profitable, resulting in them having fewer budgets to run many advertisements about fast food
. Thereby, It can give limited access to citizens, leading to decline
of the consumer.
In conclusion, I mostly agree with Add an article
the decline
a decline
this
approach because it can decrease the number of consumers and limited
people to access high-fat Replace the word
limit
food
in multiple media. However
, the government should deal with it by other effective methods such
as running public programs or education.Submitted by okookk123456 on
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task achievement
The essay does a good job of addressing the task, but there are areas that could use improvement. Make sure to state your points with clarity, and try to support them with more detailed examples. Avoid unnecessary repetition.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your arguments to make the essay smoother. Transitional words and phrases can help guide the reader through your points. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the main points you are discussing.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the case of Mexico, which help support your arguments.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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