More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think aThe solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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With the growing number of obese people in the contemporary world, some suggest that raising the cost of fatty

food

Use synonyms

could be an effective measure to tackle

this

Linking Words

issue. Despite

this

Linking Words

proposal might have negative

ramification

Fix the agreement mistake

ramifications

show examples

, It is likely to be a predominantly advantageous approach

due to

Linking Words

demotivating customers and decreasing the advertisement to people. On the one hand, there is one rational reason why

this

Linking Words

method should not be implemented since calorie-dense

food

Use synonyms

is not one of the main

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

obesity epidemic.

This

Linking Words

is because there are many other factors that cause increasingly obese individuals, including nutritional education,

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

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exercise or a sedentary lifestyle.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the price surge is not an effective solution

while

Linking Words

the government should consider running campaigns about nutrition or healthy lifestyle to raise awareness for residents.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some significant benefits that could help to decrease the number of consumers of high-fat

food

Use synonyms

. The first

rational

Correct your spelling

rationale

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is that

this

Linking Words

suggestion could demotivate potential customers as they are sensitive to changes in price. In Mexico,

for instance

Linking Words

, the government implemented a tax on sugary drinks and junk

food

Use synonyms

which helped to decrease the percentage of obese individuals after that.

Secondly

Linking Words

, raising the cost of fattening

food

Use synonyms

could make plenty of restaurants or

food

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chains less profitable, resulting in them having fewer budgets to run many advertisements about fast

food

Use synonyms

. Thereby, It can give limited access to citizens, leading to

decline

Add an article

the decline

a decline

show examples

of the consumer. In conclusion, I mostly agree with

this

Linking Words

approach because it can decrease the number of consumers and

limited

Replace the word

limit

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people to access high-fat

food

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in multiple media.

However

Linking Words

, the government should deal with it by other effective methods

such

Linking Words

as running public programs or education.

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task achievement

The essay does a good job of addressing the task, but there are areas that could use improvement. Make sure to state your points with clarity, and try to support them with more detailed examples. Avoid unnecessary repetition.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of your arguments to make the essay smoother. Transitional words and phrases can help guide the reader through your points. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea to avoid confusion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the main points you are discussing.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples, such as the case of Mexico, which help support your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think aThe solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries around the world, obesity is increasing, especially among children. One solution is to increase the tax on food and drinks which contain large amounts of sugar. How effective is this solution? What other measures would be effective?