One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, thanks to medical research and economic growth, it is very common for people to live more than their ancestors. Generally speaking is a good thing,

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however

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however,

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it has its downsides as well.

Overall

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, the rapidly improving

Remove the preposition

apply

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treatments

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

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us live long and

fullfilling

Correct your spelling

fulfilling

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

life

, extending family relationships.

For example

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, it was impossible back in the

days

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day

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thinking

Change the verb form

to think

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we could survive

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apply

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certain

type

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types

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of diseases like cancer. Being diagnosed with

such

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disesase

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disease

would have meant an already signed death certificate.

Also

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, chronic disease can be treated to

continuing

Wrong verb form

continue

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living with a decent quality of life.

In addition

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, child deaths, which were very common back in the

days

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day

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, are now very rare.

For instance

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, my cousin was born with a very bad congenital disease,

however

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thanks to a

sperimental

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experimental

surgery procedure he managed to survive and he is now living a beautiful life with his wife and kids!

On the other hand

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this

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situation has

consequens

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consequences

, especially

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from

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the

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economical

Replace the word

economic

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point of view. It is clear, that living longer leads to an increase

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elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

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population and

consequently

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costs for

pubblic

Correct your spelling

public

healthcare and pension funds.

Futhermore

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Furthermore

, hospitals are overcrowded thanks to the rise of

age-realated

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age-related

disease

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diseases

show examples

. If

that is

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not enough,

according to

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the data people are not having kids as they used to be, lowering the number of people in working age, creating an

instable

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unstable

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economic system. In conclusion, I believe that

the

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apply

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extending the life expectancy is not a bad thing, even with all the

problem

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problems

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it causes. No economic wealth can replace

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show examples

hug from your

granparents

Correct your spelling

grandparents

or kissing your child born against all odds.

alessandro.taleseThu Sep 12 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear response to the task, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy due to medical advancements. However, some points could be developed further with more depth and clarity. Enhancing the explanation of the economic consequences would provide a more balanced argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases that guide the reader through your points seamlessly. Also, try to avoid repeating the same points in different ways; instead, introduce new insights or perspectives.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which contribute to the overall coherence. The introduction effectively sets up the topic, and the conclusion ties the essay together nicely.

task achievement

The use of relevant and specific examples, such as the personal story of your cousin, helps to illustrate the points and makes the argument more compelling.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

You stayed over at a friend’s house last weekend and think that you left your watch there. In your letter: Thank your friend Describe your watch Tell them what you want them to do

Many countries spend a lot of money on improved transport for urban areas while neglecting rural transport. What are the problems associated with this? What are some possible solutions?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.