One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, thanks to medical research and economic growth, it is very common for people to live more than their ancestors. Generally speaking is a good thing,
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however
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however,
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it has its downsides as well.
Overall
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, the rapidly improving
of
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apply
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treatments
makes
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make
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us live long and
fullfilling
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fulfilling
lifes
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lives
life
, extending family relationships.
For example
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, it was impossible back in the
days
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day
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thinking
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to think
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we could survive
to
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apply
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certain
type
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types
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of diseases like cancer. Being diagnosed with
such
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a
disesase
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disease
would have meant an already signed death certificate.
Also
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, chronic disease can be treated to
continuing
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continue
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living with a decent quality of life.
In addition
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, child deaths, which were very common back in the
days
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day
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, are now very rare.
For instance
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, my cousin was born with a very bad congenital disease,
however
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thanks to a
sperimental
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experimental
surgery procedure he managed to survive and he is now living a beautiful life with his wife and kids!
On the other hand
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,
this
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situation has
consequens
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consequences
, especially
by
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from
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the
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an
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economical
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economic
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point of view. It is clear, that living longer leads to an increase
of
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in
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elderly
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the elderly
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population and
consequently
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costs for
pubblic
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public
healthcare and pension funds.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, hospitals are overcrowded thanks to the rise of
age-realated
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age-related
disease
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diseases
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. If
that is
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not enough,
according to
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the data people are not having kids as they used to be, lowering the number of people in working age, creating an
instable
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unstable
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economic system. In conclusion, I believe that
the
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apply
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extending the life expectancy is not a bad thing, even with all the
problem
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problems
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it causes. No economic wealth can replace
an
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a
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hug from your
granparents
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grandparents
or kissing your child born against all odds.
Submitted by alessandro.talese on

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear response to the task, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy due to medical advancements. However, some points could be developed further with more depth and clarity. Enhancing the explanation of the economic consequences would provide a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases that guide the reader through your points seamlessly. Also, try to avoid repeating the same points in different ways; instead, introduce new insights or perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which contribute to the overall coherence. The introduction effectively sets up the topic, and the conclusion ties the essay together nicely.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples, such as the personal story of your cousin, helps to illustrate the points and makes the argument more compelling.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
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