IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt,
salaries
Correct word choice
that salaries
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 play
crucial
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a crucial
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 role for every employee;
however
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the discrepancy between
jobs
Use synonyms
 with low wages and
jobs
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 with high wages should be minimal.
This
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statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 is controversial and I will explain, why the idea has negative outcomes and should not be realised.
To begin
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 with, if
difference
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the difference
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 was reduced,
people
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 would not strive to move in
career
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the career
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 ladder.
This
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 is because in many cases a salary is the biggest motivator for achieving knowledge,
graduation
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graduating
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of
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from
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 a University, and
hardworking
Verb problem
working
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 at
nights
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night
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.
As a
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A
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 example could be described
my
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in my
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 case, where I decided to pass the GMAT exam in order to find a job with higher financial bonuses.
In contrast
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, if
people
Use synonyms
 had similar paychecks in a simple job
such
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a
Change preposition
as a
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cleaner and an advanced job
such
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 as
electrical
Correct article usage
an electrical
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 engineer, teenagers would not have the desire to go
throw
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through
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 5
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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 studying for the profession, like it was in the USSR.
In addition
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, the possible consequence of the
changes
Change the noun form
change
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 reduction
ciuld
Correct your spelling
could
 be the situation when smart
people
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 escape to other countries.
In other words
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, educated
people
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, who are not
sutisfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
 by a lower salary could be easily hired and relocated by foreign companies.
For instance
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, the massive migration
top
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of top
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 managers from France, which
hapened
Correct your spelling
happened
as a result
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 of increasing taxes for owners of highest
paid
Correct your spelling
highest-paid
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
. Alternatively,
high
Replace the word
highly
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 paid personnel
whould
Correct your spelling
would
 not change
place
Add an article
the place
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 of living. In conclusion, I would stick to my opinion, that there is no need to make
smaller
Correct article usage
a smaller
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 difference between the
lowest paid
Add a hyphen
lowest-paid
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jobs
Use synonyms
 and the
highest paid
Add a hyphen
highest-paid
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 because individuals may lose the motivation to develop themselves and the threat of losing top personnel may appear.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, but it could benefit from deeper analysis and more detailed examples. Try to add more specific examples and arguments to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clearly presented and logically structured, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Make sure to proofread your essay and work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.
task achievement
You have a strong introduction and conclusion which effectively summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and each paragraph flows logically into the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • equitable society
  • poverty levels
  • economic stimulation
  • social unrest
  • social cohesion
  • pay gap
  • solidarity
  • alienation
  • morale
  • productivity
  • higher education
  • challenging roles
  • innovation
  • growth
  • exorbitant salaries
  • fair compensation
  • essential services
  • balanced salary structure
  • adequately compensated
  • competitive edge
  • progressive taxation
  • redistribute wealth
  • public investment
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