Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt,
salaries
play Correct word choice
that salaries
crucial
role for every employee; Add an article
a crucial
however
, some people
argue that the discrepancy between jobs
with low wages and jobs
with high wages should be minimal. This
statment
is controversial and I will explain, why the idea has negative outcomes and should not be realised.
Correct your spelling
statement
To begin
with, if difference
was reduced, Add an article
the difference
people
would not strive to move in career
ladder. Add an article
the career
This
is because in many cases a salary is the biggest motivator for achieving knowledge, graduation
Replace the word
graduating
of
a University, and Change preposition
from
hardworking
at Verb problem
working
nights
. Fix the agreement mistake
night
As a
example could be described Change preposition
A
my
case, where I decided to pass the GMAT exam in order to find a job with higher financial bonuses. Change preposition
in my
In contrast
, if people
had similar paychecks in a simple job such
a
cleaner and an advanced job Change preposition
as a
such
as electrical
engineer, teenagers would not have the desire to go Correct article usage
an electrical
throw
5 Correct your spelling
through
year
studying for the profession, like it was in the USSR.
Change to a plural noun
years
In addition
, the possible consequence of the changes
reduction Change the noun form
change
ciuld
be the situation when smart Correct your spelling
could
people
escape to other countries. In other words
, educated people
, who are not sutisfied
by a lower salary could be easily hired and relocated by foreign companies. Correct your spelling
satisfied
For instance
, the massive migration top
managers from France, which Change preposition
of top
hapened
Correct your spelling
happened
as a result
of increasing taxes for owners of highest paid
Correct your spelling
highest-paid
jobs
. Alternatively, high
paid personnel Replace the word
highly
whould
not change Correct your spelling
would
place
of living.
In conclusion, I would stick to my opinion, that there is no need to make Add an article
the place
smaller
difference between the Correct article usage
a smaller
lowest paid
Add a hyphen
lowest-paid
jobs
and the highest paid
Add a hyphen
highest-paid
jobs
because individuals may lose the motivation to develop themselves and the threat of losing top personnel may appear.Submitted by sergeybelov83 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, but it could benefit from deeper analysis and more detailed examples. Try to add more specific examples and arguments to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clearly presented and logically structured, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Make sure to proofread your essay and work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.
task achievement
You have a strong introduction and conclusion which effectively summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and each paragraph flows logically into the next.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!