Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it a responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

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In recent years, the disparity between wealthy and poorer
nations
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has become increasingly pronounced, raising the question of whether affluent
countries
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have an obligation to share their resources with less fortunate ones.
This
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debate encompasses several critical issues, including the provision of basic needs
such
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as food and education.
While
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some argue that wealthy
nations
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should be mandated to extend their wealth to poorer
nations
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, others contend that it is the
responsibility
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of the
governments
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of these
nations
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to care for their citizens. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both perspectives before reaching a conclusion. On one hand, proponents of the view that wealthy
nations
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should assist poorer
countries
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argue that
this
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is a moral obligation. Wealthy
nations
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often have resources far exceeding their needs, and sharing a portion of that wealth can significantly improve the quality of life in poorer
countries
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.
For example
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, providing access to education can empower individuals, leading to increased economic opportunities and self-sufficiency.
Moreover
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, in a world interconnected by globalization, issues
such
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as poverty, hunger, and health crises do not remain confined to one region. When wealthy
nations
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invest in poorer
nations
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, they are not only addressing humanitarian concerns but
also
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enhancing global stability and security. In
this
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sense, it can be argued that wealthier
countries
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have a
responsibility
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to contribute to the well-being of less fortunate
nations
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.
Conversely
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, those who argue that it is primarily the
responsibility
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of
governments
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in poorer
nations
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to take care of their citizens contend that self-sufficiency is crucial for long-term development. Relying on aid from wealthier
nations
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can lead to a cycle of dependency, where poor
nations
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fail to build their infrastructure and improve their economies
due to
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external reliance.
Furthermore
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, not all assistance from wealthier
nations
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is effectively utilized, as mismanagement and corruption can diminish the impact of
such
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support.
Therefore
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,
governments
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in poorer
countries
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must prioritize the establishment of effective governance and economic policies that empower their citizens.
Instead
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of waiting for aid, these
countries
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should invest in local resources and human capital to forge a sustainable future. In conclusion,
while
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there are compelling arguments for both sides of the debate, I believe that a balanced approach is necessary. Wealthy
nations
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should indeed contribute to alleviating poverty and providing essential services in poorer
nations
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, particularly in times of crises
such
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as natural disasters or pandemics.
However
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,
this
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should not negate the
responsibility
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of local
governments
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to develop their
nations
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independently. A collaborative effort, where wealthy
nations
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provide support
while
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poorer
nations
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strive for self-sufficiency and governance reform, could create a more equitable world. Ultimately, it is through a combination of shared
responsibility
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and local agency that we can hope to address global inequities and promote sustainable development.
Submitted by SvetlanaDinara on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the debate, discussing the moral obligations of wealthy nations as well as the importance of self-sufficiency for poorer nations. However, including more concrete examples and data could strengthen your argument even further.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and flows logically from one point to another, maintaining a clear structure throughout. Continue to use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea as effectively as you have done here.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction that sets up the debate well and clearly outlines what you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a balanced view, reinforcing your overall argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly presented and easy to follow, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The use of phrases like 'on one hand' and 'conversely' helps guide the reader through your argument, enhancing the essay's coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • global stability
  • economic self-sufficiency
  • sustainable development
  • capacity-building
  • foreign aid
  • mutual benefits
  • trade relations
  • long-term outcomes
  • dependency
  • moral obligation
  • alleviate poverty
  • humanitarian assistance
  • resource allocation
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