The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

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The crime rate is increasing continuously in several countries , especially in the younger generation. I think

this

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rise is

due to

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differences in

money

Use synonyms

distribution and showing violent context in media,

moreover

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, families and teachers have to introduce limitations to control

this

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occurrence.

To begin

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with, the population of the earth has grown rapidly over these years and a larger amount of

money

Use synonyms

is being used,

as a result

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, the wealthier population has shown up on all levels.

This

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change creates a large space between poor and wealthy households and the poor families comparing their situations with the

reacher

Correct your spelling

teacher

show examples

community. The young community think it is not fair so they want to take that

money

Use synonyms

back from society and they consider rage as a convenient method.

For example

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, they focus on shoplifting or phones

rubbery

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to gather that

money

Use synonyms

and achieve what they think deserve.

Additionally

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, the media is making more criminal programs and spreading

this

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subject as a usual topic, unfortunately, these shows will impact the teenagers' mindset and they consider these anti-social behaviours as cool aspects of people.

This

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issue needs urgent action from all communities in

societies

Fix the agreement mistake

society

show examples

. Schools have to provide educational programs for students to make them aware of the consequences of criminal activities,

in addition

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, households can control their children's

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and observe their friends and if they find something wrong put punishment to educate them right rules.

For instance

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, they can limit the young once

money

Use synonyms

or they can ban their children from going out. In conclusion, the youth crime rate is an important happening in society and should be controlled. In my opinion,

this

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rise is a result of the criminal movies and differences in the wealth of people , and an urgent act of families and the education system to introduce strict roles and provide an appropriate education in

this

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field.

soroushnorouzi0478Wed Apr 10 2024

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Grammar

Ensure consistent use of tense and focus on maintaining subject-verb agreement to enhance clarity.

Vocabulary

Enhance your range of vocabulary by introducing more precise terms related to the topic, such as 'economic disparity' instead of 'differences in money distribution'.

Content Development

Work on developing your ideas further with more detailed examples and a deeper analysis to strengthen your arguments.

Sentence Structure

Consider rephrasing sentences to reduce repetition and improve sentence structure. For instance, instead of 'the young community think it is not fair so they want to take that money back from society', try 'Young individuals may perceive this wealth gap as injustice, prompting some to resort to crime as a means of redress'.

Task Response

The essay effectively addresses both parts of the question by discussing reasons for the rise in youth crime rates and proposing solutions involving both parents and teachers.

Structure

Good use of introductory and concluding paragraphs to clearly frame the essay's argument.

Use of Examples

You provided relevant examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments more concretely.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

Your opinion

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that companies should hire young people. Others say that older experienced staff should be employed. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Today more and more people are using mobile phone and computer. Thus, the communication ability is losing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?