The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The crime rate is increasing continuously in several countries , especially in the younger generation. I think
this
rise is
due to
differences in
money
distribution and showing violent context in media,
moreover
, families and teachers have to introduce limitations to control
this
occurrence.
To begin
with, the population of the earth has grown rapidly over these years and a larger amount of
money
is being used,
as a result
, the wealthier population has shown up on all levels.
This
change creates a large space between poor and wealthy households and the poor families comparing their situations with the
reacher
Correct your spelling
teacher
show examples
community. The young community think it is not fair so they want to take that
money
back from society and they consider rage as a convenient method.
For example
, they focus on shoplifting or phones
rubbery
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to gather that
money
and achieve what they think deserve.
Additionally
, the media is making more criminal programs and spreading
this
subject as a usual topic, unfortunately, these shows will impact the teenagers' mindset and they consider these anti-social behaviours as cool aspects of people.
This
issue needs urgent action from all communities in
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
show examples
. Schools have to provide educational programs for students to make them aware of the consequences of criminal activities,
in addition
, households can control their children's
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
and observe their friends and if they find something wrong put punishment to educate them right rules.
For instance
, they can limit the young once
money
or they can ban their children from going out. In conclusion, the youth crime rate is an important happening in society and should be controlled. In my opinion,
this
rise is a result of the criminal movies and differences in the wealth of people , and an urgent act of families and the education system to introduce strict roles and provide an appropriate education in
this
field.
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Ensure consistent use of tense and focus on maintaining subject-verb agreement to enhance clarity.
Vocabulary
Enhance your range of vocabulary by introducing more precise terms related to the topic, such as 'economic disparity' instead of 'differences in money distribution'.
Content Development
Work on developing your ideas further with more detailed examples and a deeper analysis to strengthen your arguments.
Sentence Structure
Consider rephrasing sentences to reduce repetition and improve sentence structure. For instance, instead of 'the young community think it is not fair so they want to take that money back from society', try 'Young individuals may perceive this wealth gap as injustice, prompting some to resort to crime as a means of redress'.
Task Response
The essay effectively addresses both parts of the question by discussing reasons for the rise in youth crime rates and proposing solutions involving both parents and teachers.
Structure
Good use of introductory and concluding paragraphs to clearly frame the essay's argument.
Use of Examples
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments more concretely.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: