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Band 7

Some people think that marketing helps promote products to the public. Others claim that well-trained, competent staff are the key to success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #products #staff #success
There is a debate regarding the factors that are more profitable.
Whereas
 some
people
 believe that marketing contributes to promoting
products
 to the public, others consider that well-trained and skilled
staff
 are the key to success. In my opinion, marketing has a decisive role in selling
products
 and making them public. On the one hand, one of the most remarkable reasons why it is claimed by individuals
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 marketing is important to make
people
 aware of
products
. Unless customers hear about
products
, they are unlikely to buy them.
Thus
, public support is of paramount importance, and thanks to endorsement,
companies
 can sell a considerable share of the
products
 that they produce, and
also
 make a myriad of money. In
this
 case, the financial situation of the
companies
 will improve significantly.
In addition
, the
companies
 can be well-known among
people
, and they create a reputation and obtain loyal customers.
On the other hand
, other
people
 argue that
staff
 with skills and knowledge are more vital. On the grounds that, each member of the business has a crucial role in developing of association. Well-trained workers can produce healthy, reliable merchandise for buyers to consume.
Hence
, the
companies
 can have loyalty among
people
, and these producers would be
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
.
Additionally
, skilled employees are able to manage the company to make a plethora of profits, because management is one of the most vital factors that make a company successful and it depends on
staff
To sum up
, both views are advantageous and profitable to be successful. It seems to me that, marketing has more beneficial aspects than well-trained
staff
, and it would be better for businesses to provide marketing.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear position throughout the response. While you presented both views and your opinion, reinforcing your stance in the conclusion can make your argument more authoritative.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points further by providing more specific examples. This will enhance the depth of your argument and support your stance more convincingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve the readability and sophistication of your writing. This will also help in achieving better coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more effectively with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. This aids the reader in following your line of reasoning without effort.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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