Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
One of the most important aspects
the
governments around the world have to take into account when incorporating their plans is Correct your spelling
that
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
destinated
to Verb problem
dedicated
health
. Additionally
, this
topic has to be treated under the supervision of doctors and experts with knowledge in
public politics. For that reason, in Change preposition
of
this
essay, we are going to analyze measures that have to be adopted for the states and
how human beings have to learn to look after their own well-being Correct word choice
apply
as
a preventive way and how it could benefit or affect public Change preposition
in
health
.
It is often argued that services provided by health care
providers go Correct your spelling
healthcare
in
decadence; Change preposition
into
this
is due to
lack
of resources in most Correct article usage
a lack
of
Change preposition
apply
the
cases. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, the health
centers
need an annual budget to supply all their needs. Without sufficient funding, it becomes challenging to maintain medical equipment, hire qualified professionals, and ensure patients receive timely and adequate care. Change the spelling
centres
This
situation leads to longer waiting times, a decline in the quality of treatment, and a growing frustration among both patients and healthcare workers. Consequently
, the overall
health
outcomes in the community may deteriorate.
Another point to consider is that the responsibility does not lie solely with the government, nor with individuals who have a moral obligation to take care of themselves. Food, excersice
and welfare are some things Correct your spelling
exercise
who
an active and healthy person should incorporate to Correct pronoun usage
that
doesnt
contract any affection. Despite Correct your spelling
don't
this
, there should be guidance on how to maintain an active lifestyle, and this
is where governmental measures must be incorporated into campaigns, infographics, and other forms of communication. This
could help prevent diseases that health
experts and life insurance companies classify as serious illnesses.
In conclusion, allocating a budget for health
education and preventive measures can lead to significant improvements in public health
and reduce the prevalence of serious illnesses.Submitted by mariajoser3 on
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task achievement
Your essay tackles the question and offers clear ideas on both the importance of preventive care and the necessity of adequate healthcare funding. However, your arguments could be further developed with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, there are occasional lapses in clarity and flow. For example, phrases like 'services provided by health care providers go in decadence' could be more clearly phrased as 'healthcare services are deteriorating.' Aim for more clarity in presenting your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-placed and sum up the essay effectively. They provide a clear framework that guides the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses multiple perspectives, considering both the role of the government and individual responsibility. This makes for a balanced and thorough discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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