IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Are electric cars better for the environment than fuel-powered cars? Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

#cars #environment
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Some people argue that electric
cars
Use synonyms
 are more beneficial than
fossil-fule driven
Correct your spelling
fossil fuel-driven
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cars
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 for the
environment
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. I personally believe that despite emitting lithium and other harmful chemicals, electric
cars
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 are better than fossil-fuel-powered
cars
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. Fossil-fuel-powered
cars
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 are responsible for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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pollution
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. They discharge a significant amount of
carbon-di-oxides
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
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 and other harmful chemicals, which are detrimental to the
environment
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.
These huge amount
Change the determiner
This huge amount
These huge amounts
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 of carbon and other harmful emissions increase the global temperature every year and the constant rise of sea levels.
For example
Linking Words
, in the whole world, 80% of
cars
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 on the road
run
Add a missing verb
are run
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by
Change preposition
on
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fossil-fuels
Correct your spelling
fossil fuels
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, which has raised the yearly
pollution
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 level
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 30%.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that fuel-powered
cars
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 have a lot of drawbacks, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 should be banned. Unlike fuel-powered
cars
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, electric-powered
vehicles
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 do not emit
carbon-di-oxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
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 because they run by electricity.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there is
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
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possiblity
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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pollution
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 compared to fuel-driven
cars
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.
However
Linking Words
, electric-powered
vehicles
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 emit lithium, cobalt and other harmful materials, which are
also
Linking Words
 detrimental to health.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, the
pollution
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 level of electric
vehicles
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 is still lower than
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
fossil-fuel
Change preposition
of fossil-fuel
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cars
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, only because electric
vehicles
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 do not discharge
carbon-di-oxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
show examples
. For
exmaple
Correct your spelling
example
, in the UK, when electric
cars
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 were first introduced in 2012, since
then
Linking Words
 the air
pollution
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 level has decreased
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 70%.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that electric
cars
Use synonyms
 are better for the
environment
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 and human health.
To conclude
Linking Words
, fossil-fuel-powered
cars
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 emit carbon chemicals, which are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the
environment
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. Electric
vehicles
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 run
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 electricity,
therefore
Linking Words
, they do cause much
pollution
Use synonyms
 in the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Consider adding a few more detailed and specific examples to provide stronger evidence for your points. This will help in making your arguments even more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes such as "possiblity" which should be "possibility" and "exmaple" which should be "example."
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical transitions between your paragraphs. For instance, the transition from discussing fossil-fuel-powered cars to electric cars could be smoother.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the discussion effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear stance on the issue.
supported main points
You provided valid examples to support your arguments, such as the statistical data related to pollution in the UK post-introduction of electric cars.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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