Today people are using the things and throwing or replacing it with latest models or latest fashion. Do the advantages of throwing away society outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times
people
has
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
attracted
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the development of the world. It is a highly debatable issue whether
people
are
followed
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
with latest
models
, or whether they maintain their simple life. I think that the beneficial effects of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
fashion overpower the detrimental ones.
This
essay will outline the merits and demerits. On the one hand,replacing traditional fashion
into
Change preposition
with
show examples
the latest one
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a
sigificant
Correct your spelling
significant
risk on
socoity's
Correct your spelling
society's
value. Many
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
forgeted
Correct your spelling
forget
forged
their culture.
For example
, my friend Fatma who traveled abroad
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
her clothes into the latest
models
.
Moreover
, if
people
are exaggerating in buying
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
models
, they will
definitly
Correct your spelling
definitely
forced
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to pay more money.To illustrate, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University illustrates that the prices of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
fashion
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more expensive than traditional ones.
Thus
, it
is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
show examples
as wasting
people
's money.
On the other hand
, technology plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
role in
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of new devices.
People
tend to have
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
phone or
labtop
Correct your spelling
laptop
to facilitate their lives.
For instance
, my brother
change
Change the verb form
changes
show examples
his
labtop
Correct your spelling
laptop
to have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
new version that helps him in his work.
Furthermore
, a lot of
people
feel that the
relevant
Replace the word
relevance
show examples
to new
models
may make them more happy.
This
can
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
them to reduce stress and depression. A good example here is food. There are various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of international food which
people
like it so much. In conclusion, the traditional fashions are inconsequential.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
the idea of following
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
models
can change
people
's lives
positivily
Correct your spelling
positively
positivity
. After
thorough
Correct article usage
a thorough
show examples
analysis
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
, it is predicted that
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
fashions will be greater than the negative effects.
Submitted by 13570581 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example: 'it is a highly debatable issue whether people are followed with latest models, or whether they maintain their simple life.' Rewriting it more clearly would help.
content
While you have presented both sides of the argument, the essay could benefit from more balanced development of points. The disadvantages of a 'throwaway society' need more depth and exploration.
language
Use more diverse vocabulary to avoid repetition and make your argument more compelling. Terms like 'latest models' and 'traditional ones' are repeated often.
content
The essay presents both advantages and disadvantages, showing a good attempt at balanced argumentation.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear beginning and end to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • economic growth
  • environmental impact
  • resource depletion
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • technological advancement
  • quality of life
  • social status
  • societal pressure
  • financial stress
  • social inequality
  • sustainability
  • responsible consumption
  • recycling
  • upcycling
  • second-hand
What to do next:
Look at other essays: