IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today people are using the things and throwing or replacing it with latest models or latest fashion. Do the advantages of throwing away society outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent times
people
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
have been
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 attracted
with
Change preposition
to
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 the development of the world. It is a highly debatable issue whether
people
Use synonyms
 are
followed
Wrong verb form
following
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 with latest
models
Use synonyms
, or whether they maintain their simple life. I think that the beneficial effects of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 fashion overpower the detrimental ones.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline the merits and demerits. On the one hand,replacing traditional fashion
into
Change preposition
with
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 the latest one
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a
sigificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 risk on
socoity's
Correct your spelling
society's
 value. Many
people
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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forgeted
Correct your spelling
forget
forged
 their culture.
For example
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, my friend Fatma who traveled abroad
change
Wrong verb form
changed
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 her clothes into the latest
models
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, if
people
Use synonyms
 are exaggerating in buying
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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models
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, they will
definitly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 forced
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to pay more money.To illustrate, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University illustrates that the prices of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 fashion
is
Change the verb form
are
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 more expensive than traditional ones.
Thus
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, it
is consider
Change the verb form
is considered
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 as wasting
people
Use synonyms
's money.
On the other hand
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, technology plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
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 role in
development
Add an article
the development
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 of new devices.
People
Use synonyms
 tend to have
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 phone or
labtop
Correct your spelling
laptop
 to facilitate their lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, my brother
change
Change the verb form
changes
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 his
labtop
Correct your spelling
laptop
 to have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 new version that helps him in his work.
Furthermore
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, a lot of
people
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 feel that the
relevant
Replace the word
relevance
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 to new
models
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 may make them more happy.
This
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 can
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 them to reduce stress and depression. A good example here is food. There are various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of international food which
people
Use synonyms
 like it so much. In conclusion, the traditional fashions are inconsequential.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the idea of following
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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models
Use synonyms
 can change
people
Use synonyms
's lives
positivily
Correct your spelling
positively
positivity
. After
thorough
Correct article usage
a thorough
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 analysis
on
Change preposition
of
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this
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, it is predicted that
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 fashions will be greater than the negative effects.

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language
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example: 'it is a highly debatable issue whether people are followed with latest models, or whether they maintain their simple life.' Rewriting it more clearly would help.
content
While you have presented both sides of the argument, the essay could benefit from more balanced development of points. The disadvantages of a 'throwaway society' need more depth and exploration.
language
Use more diverse vocabulary to avoid repetition and make your argument more compelling. Terms like 'latest models' and 'traditional ones' are repeated often.
content
The essay presents both advantages and disadvantages, showing a good attempt at balanced argumentation.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear beginning and end to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • economic growth
  • environmental impact
  • resource depletion
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • technological advancement
  • quality of life
  • social status
  • societal pressure
  • financial stress
  • social inequality
  • sustainability
  • responsible consumption
  • recycling
  • upcycling
  • second-hand
What to do next:
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