‏In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#‏in #countries #men #women #work #time #people #household #e #g #children

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‏In many countries today, both

men

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and

women

Use synonyms

need to work

full

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full-time

show examples

time

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Therefore

Linking Words

, some people think

men

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and

women

Use synonyms

should share

household

Use synonyms

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? In recent times

household

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tasks

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have increased. It is a highly debatable issue whether

parents

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should share

household

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tasks

Use synonyms

, or whether it is the

women

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's responsibility.

This

Linking Words

essay will outline the benefits of helping each other in-home activities. Working with both males and females together has a vital role in social life. It promotes a sense of collaboration between

parents

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which can lead to empathy.

For example

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, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University illustrates that 90% of

parents

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live happier lives than those who depend only on

women

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, helping each other with

household

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tasks

Use synonyms

may open doors to exploring a new experience. If the

men

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try to cook food, potentially they will be empowered to cook various types of food.

Thus

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, they could learn and gain experience from each other.

In addition

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parents

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can learn to become independent people.

this

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may help them when they travel abroad.

For instance

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, my friend Fatma her husband always helps her and now he is self-reliant as he can clean and wash clothes when he travels abroad.

Moreover

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, the benefits of helping each other are not only limited to

household

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tasks

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but

also

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have a big impact on saving

time

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Men

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and

women

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would often finish their work early and without effort. To illustrate, my sister has enough

time

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to visit her relatives and shopping

due to

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her husband's help. So,

this

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can make the family more relaxed. In conclusion, boosting self-esteem, gaining many skills , being independent people and saving

time

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are all the benefits of sharing

household

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tasks

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Therefore

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, the idea of depending only on

women

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should be stopped. Both males and females should have a balanced life.

Submitted by 13570581 on Fri Sep 13 2024

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grammar

Be sure to avoid minor grammatical mistakes, such as not capitalizing the first letter of a sentence.

coherence

To improve coherence, make your topic sentences more explicit and clear so that the reader can easily follow your argument.

clarity

Elaborate a bit more on your main points to enhance clarity—add some more detailed explanations or additional evidence to back your claims.

structure

The essay concludes effectively and reinforces the main points in a strong manner.

examples

Good use of relevant and specific examples, which make the argument more convincing.

structure

Solid logical structure throughout the essay, making it easy to follow the flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

317 words

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‏In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Teenagers should have regular exams at secondary school as this will prepare them better for life after living school. Do you agree or this agree.

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. however, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

the main part of the population tries to tend to involve lessons which it takes place on the Internet rather than attending offline classes

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coaching.