Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #poverty #nature

People commit crimes because of the lack of money and communal issues. Even though, it is connected with their bad behaviour. Doing crime is one of the biggest problems around the world. Because they are increasing day to day and

this

has a negative effect on society. In my opinion

Add a comma

show examples

crime is growing because of the high communal taxes.

In addition

, salaries are so low and people can not afford to pay for the taxes and services, after that, they resort to robberies. I think the government should reduce the charges. Next there will not be any robbery.

For example

, in India,the crime rate is increasing, because of the high price of charge. That’s why, the administration should decrease prices for the population. It is not only about the charges, it is

also

connected with the behaviour of a person. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

children

learn everything from his or her

parents

As well as

parents

should teach their

children

well. If

parents

spend their time only on their work, they will miss the

upbringing

of their

children

After

this

, they will be any kind of robber or person who has bad behaviour. When

parents

upbringing

them they are able to know what they want to do. If they realize any bad sides in them, they should teach them about

this

. After they can defend themselves from robbery or any bad things.

For instance

, if

children

do any bad things , especially robbery, they must punish them and

then

they avoid that thing. So people can defend any bad thing with a good

upbringing

. In conclusion, the government should decrease charges,

although

everything is connected with

upbringing

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Fri Sep 13 2024

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task achievement

Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline your main points.

task achievement

Use more specific and varied examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure better transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Develop each point more fully to provide a deeper analysis.

task achievement

The essay addresses both perspectives on why people commit crimes.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with separate paragraphs for each main idea.

task achievement

Each paragraph addresses a distinct point which helps with clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?You should write at least 250 words.

More and more businesses, as well as individuals, are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than face-to face. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The map below is of the town of Garlsdon. A new market is planned for the town. The map two possible sites for the supermarket.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugar products shall be made more expensive to encourage people to cunsume less sugar Do you agree or disagree?