It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.
punishment
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
children
to learn, what is good and right?
There are many people Change the punctuation
.
Correct pronoun usage
who belive
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
punishment
is very crucial for children
to learn right and wrong at an early age. Others argue that it is not a solution. I totally disagree with this
agreement.
On the one hand, to begin
with
punishing very young Add a comma
with,
children
is very fossil i
think. Because at Change the capitalization
I
early
age , Add an article
an early
children
would not understand what is bad and wrong. In this
situation, if they are behaved
badly, it will impact their growth activities. Second is Change to the active voice
behave
have behaved
mental
Add an article
a mental
problem
, pushing Fix the agreement mistake
problems
childer
by Correct your spelling
children
punishment
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
a lots
of pressure and suffer Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
form
depression. Correct your spelling
from
As a
result
they would suffer from mental Add a comma
result,
problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Finally
, decreasing communication skills, childhood is the best period for grow
up, they Change the verb form
growing
paly
with Correct your spelling
play
another kids
in the playground Replace the adjective
another kid
other kids
by contrast
if they are tolarated
Correct your spelling
separated
by
the teachers and parents, Change preposition
from
as a result
they would to
be alone and not Change the verb form
apply
creatw
Correct your spelling
create
friendship
with others. For Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
this
Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
reasions
Add a comma
reasions,
i
do not agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
statement.
On the other hand
, with punishment
, there are many lazy children
, would
not try to understand what is good and bad. So that a Correct pronoun usage
who would
punishment
would force them to learn good and bad. As to mature children
are bad
behaved with Change the adjective
badly
elder
person Add an article
the elder
an elder
that is
very bad for our socity
,so we would give minor Correct your spelling
society
punishment
, this
create
realise skills. I strongly disagree with Change the verb form
creates
this
arguments
, because Fix the agreement mistake
argument
punishment
is not a solution. If we will
provide good behaved for good work and hard behaved for bad work these boost their manner.
In conclusion, Verb problem
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
punishment
would taught
a child Wrong verb form
teaches
many
ways but it has a lot of impacts. I think bad impacts are likely more than benefits.Change preposition
in many
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logical and organized structure for your essay. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that these ideas follow a logical progression.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more comprehensive and clear ideas. Ensure that your explanations are thorough and that you are presenting well-rounded arguments.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Concrete examples can strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
You have made a valid attempt to discuss both viewpoints regarding the role of punishment in teaching children the difference between right and wrong.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in presenting a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
You have identified several potential negative impacts of punishment on children, such as mental health issues and social skills, which provides depth to your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example