It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

punishment

Use synonyms

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to learn, what is good and right

Change the punctuation

show examples

There are many people

Correct pronoun usage

who belive

show examples

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that

punishment

Use synonyms

is very crucial for

children

Use synonyms

to learn right and wrong at an early age. Others argue that it is not a solution. I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

agreement. On the one hand,

to begin

Linking Words

with

Add a comma

with,

show examples

punishing very young

children

Use synonyms

is very fossil

Change the capitalization

show examples

think. Because at

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age ,

children

Use synonyms

would not understand what is bad and wrong. In

this

Linking Words

situation, if they

are behaved

Change to the active voice

behave

have behaved

show examples

badly, it will impact their growth activities. Second is

mental

Add an article

a mental

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

, pushing

childer

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

punishment

Use synonyms

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

of pressure and suffer

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

depression.

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

they would suffer from mental

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

Finally

Linking Words

, decreasing communication skills, childhood is the best period for

grow

Change the verb form

growing

show examples

up, they

paly

Correct your spelling

play

show examples

with

another kids

Replace the adjective

another kid

other kids

show examples

in the playground

by contrast

Linking Words

if they are

tolarated

Correct your spelling

separated

Change preposition

from

show examples

the teachers and parents,

as a result

Linking Words

they would

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

be alone and not

creatw

Correct your spelling

create

friendship

Fix the agreement mistake

friendships

show examples

with others. For

this

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

reason

reasons

reasions

Add a comma

reasions,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

do not agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, with

punishment

Use synonyms

, there are many lazy

children

Use synonyms

would

Correct pronoun usage

who would

show examples

not try to understand what is good and bad. So that a

punishment

Use synonyms

would force them to learn good and bad. As to mature

children

Use synonyms

are

bad

Change the adjective

badly

show examples

behaved with

elder

Add an article

the elder

an elder

show examples

person

that is

Linking Words

very bad for our

socity

Correct your spelling

society

,so we would give minor

punishment

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

create

Change the verb form

creates

show examples

realise skills. I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

arguments

Fix the agreement mistake

argument

show examples

, because

punishment

Use synonyms

is not a solution. If we

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

provide good behaved for good work and hard behaved for bad work these boost their manner. In conclusion,

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

punishment

Use synonyms

would taught

Wrong verb form

teaches

show examples

a child

many

Change preposition

in many

show examples

ways but it has a lot of impacts. I think bad impacts are likely more than benefits.

mdtipusultanakhand

Sep 13, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating a more logical and organized structure for your essay. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that these ideas follow a logical progression.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.

task achievement

Provide more comprehensive and clear ideas. Ensure that your explanations are thorough and that you are presenting well-rounded arguments.

task achievement

Use more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Concrete examples can strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

task achievement

You have made a valid attempt to discuss both viewpoints regarding the role of punishment in teaching children the difference between right and wrong.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in presenting a well-rounded argument.

task achievement

You have identified several potential negative impacts of punishment on children, such as mental health issues and social skills, which provides depth to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Popular events like football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?
It is believed that some ubiquitous events around the world play a vital role in alleviating tensions among the countries as well as showing their emotions towards their country safely. While I agree with this standpoint partially,I think that it can lead to deterioration in the situation.
7
band
Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?
In this fast-paced world manufacturing plastic products such as bottles and plastic bags has become one of the major items that exist in every home, hospital, and company. this essay I will discuss the damage caused by these products. This essay will discuss also the possible solutions to this problem that can taken by the government and individuals.
6
band
You have not seen a close friend for a very long time. You also still have a few of your friend’s belongings that were left at your house the last time she visited. In your letter include: - Why you are writing - What you’ve been doing since you last spoke together - Apologize for still having the items and ask how you can return them
How are you doing? I Hope this letter finds you in good health.
7
band
You have seen an advertisement from a couple, who live in Australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for a year. Write a letter to the couple. In your letter explain why you think you would be suitable for the job say what else you could do for the family give your reasons for wanting the job
I am writing this letter to inform you that I am looking for a job as a language teacher as I read the advertisement in the newspaper that you are looking for a tutor to teach Punjabi language to your kids.
6.5
band
Your manager has asked you to arrange a party for a colleague leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter •suggest a suitable date and time for the party •recommend a venue •propose the food and entertainment options that should be available.
I am writing this letter to complain about one of our new employees.

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

Popular events like football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

Your manager has asked you to arrange a party for a colleague leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter •suggest a suitable date and time for the party •recommend a venue •propose the food and entertainment options that should be available.