IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The map below shows the development of the museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the development of the museum between 2010 and 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#development #museum #information #features #comparisons
The map above depicts information about some changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the museum from 2010 to 2013.
This
 essay will
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 the changes in three parts, like left, centre, and right of the garden.
Overall
 it can be seen that there were several new facilities, repositioned, and removed places.
First,
in 2010, on the left side, there were
mammals
 and dinosaurs places in
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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mammals
 on the south.
Moreover
, in the centre, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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ocean
Correct article usage
an ocean
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 hall and lobby. Not only that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
 people can find the entrance gate and ticket desk
at
Change preposition
apply
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there. The right side was full of trees.
In addition
, in 2013,
mammals
was
Change the verb form
were
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 relocated to opposite.
Furthermore
, the place
become
Change the verb form
becomes
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 an area for ice age and insects on the corner.
However
, dinosaurs still remain
on
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in
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 position.
Additionally
, there was
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 improvement or refurbishment, in the centre. Everything
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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still
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the same
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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.
Besides
 that, there were
cafe
Add an article
a cafe
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,
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
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, and human origins display
along with
mammals
 on the right side.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mammals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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What to do next:
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