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Band 6

As a result of tourism and the increasing number of people traveling, there is a growing demand for more flights. What problems does this have on the environment? What measures could be taken to solve the problems?

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Never before have there been so many possibilities to travel abroad. People were spending so much time getting from one country to another. Fortunately, times have changed and now people are able to reach every place in the world.
Nonetheless
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, what people do not realize is that nowadays
traveling
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travelling
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 has a horrible impact on nature.
Firstly
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, the
carbon
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emissions
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 level rocketed to an unbelievable point. There are millions of flights done per year and
this
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 process is accelerating over the years because there are many growing opportunities to travel abroad.
However
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, the amount of
carbon
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emissions
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 being produced with every passing flight stopped me dead in my tracks. To illustrate, there is a statistic of the year 2022 which showed an increasing amount of
carbon
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emissions
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. The number of flights at
European
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 airports
soarted
Correct your spelling
started
soared
sorted
 by 15% in the period of 2005 and 2019 to 9.3 million. As the number of flights dramatically increased, the CO2
emissions
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 went up to 147 million tons in 2019, which was 34% more than in 2005. It might be assumed that
such
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 a situation is the end of the road to a cleaner environment,
although
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 there are some steps made to prevent
pollution
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.
For example
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,
European
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 companies work so hard to create sustainable fossil fuels which would definitely reduce
carbon
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emissions
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.
Besides
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, all the
European
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 airports check
carbon
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 levels in the atmosphere.
This
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 helps to regulate the amount of
carbon
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 to reduce
pollution
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.
Overall
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,
European
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 airports do everything
that is
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 possible to get back to the better road.
Secondly
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, not only huge amounts of
carbon
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emissions
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a problem created by airlines, but
also
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 noise increase is a great issue. Statistics show that noise level
is extremely
Verb problem
has
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 increased compared to the early 2000’s.
For instance
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,
noise
Correct article usage
the noise
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 level rocketed to 50 % from 2000 to now.
such
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 a problem can horribly affect animals' natural habitat. Birds are really afraid of noises,
thus
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this
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 fact can lead to
birds
Fix the agreement mistake
bird
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 migration or death.
For
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this
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 reason, America’s government provided a law to stop building airlines near forests of animal habitats.
Therefore
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, the government's reaction to these problems can really help to improve environmental
pollution
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. In conclusion, there are a lot of problems caused by airlines and there is a long way off to reduce
carbon
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emissions
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.
Nonetheless
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, thanks to the government and scientists we can hope to get rid of
pollution
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 problems.

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coherence cohesion
Incorporate smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas for an even more fluid reading experience.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, adding more detail to your examples and explanations could further strengthen your argument.
general
Avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing for better readability.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion and captures the reader’s interest effectively.
supported main points
The essay provides a good range of specific examples to support the points made.
complete response
You address both parts of the prompt thoroughly, which shows a clear understanding of the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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