Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some college
students
want to partake in studying other
subjects
instead
of their major
subjects
.
However
, others reckon that investing their time and effort in studying for a qualification is more essential.
Although
both statements have their points, I agree with the first view for some reasons mentioned in
this
essay. On the one hand,
students
who spend all their time and attention on a qualification have their own views.
Firstly
, undergraduates who spend all their efforts studying main
subjects
can gain more knowledge and specialist
skills
in their chosen field.
Additionally
,
students
can achieve better academic performance which creates more opportunities for applying for scholarships or jobs after graduation.
Secondly
, they can learn complicated concepts and theories in depth which helps them strengthen that subject.
Moreover
, paying attention to a qualification helps them have a clear study plan and schedule, and
as a result
, their physical and mental well-being will be ensured, avoiding stress and distraction. On the one hand, there are some reasons why university
students
want to learn about other
subjects
besides
their major studies. First and foremost, learning more
subjects
means developing new diverse
skills
which are necessary and vital in any job
such
as time management, communication, or English
skills
.
Secondly
, it can help
students
become flexible and easily adapt to different working environments and situations.
Furthermore
, studying more
subjects
helps
students
discover new interests or talents, since
then
, they can find more happiness in their studies and life.
Last
but not least, knowledge from different
subjects
can help undergraduates attend and make useful contributions to social and community activities. In conclusion, from what I mentioned above, I hold a strong belief that university
students
should learn more
subjects
rather than their main
subjects
.
As a consequence
, they can develop a range of useful
skills
for their lives and careers.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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task response
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. While your arguments are clear, providing concrete instances can make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, but ensure your introduction gives a clear preview of your main points. This can help guide your reader and strengthen the coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using varied linking words and phrases can enhance the flow of your essay.
task response
You have effectively addressed both views and provided a well-argued opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are logically structured and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reinforces your opinion.
task response
You have demonstrated a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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