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Band 6.5

In the technology age, students increasingly rely on computers and digital tools for their education.

#technology #age #students #computers #tools #education
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In the
technology
 age,
students
 increasingly rely on computers and digital tools for their education.
While
 these advancements offer greater efficiency and access to knowledge, they
also
 come with challenges.
This
 essay will discuss the negative effects of over-reliance on
technology
,
such
 as reduced
imagination
 and growing laziness
while
 proposing cognitive development activities and art classes as solutions to these problems. One significant issue is that
technology
 limits
students
'
imagination
. When learners rely too much on digital resources and pre-made templates, they often skip the process of original thinking and creativity.
For instance
, rather than generating unique ideas or creative solutions,
students
 may simply use software to complete tasks.
This
 dependence can stifle intellectual growth and hinder their ability to think independently. Another concern is the promotion of laziness. With
technology
 making information and solutions readily available,
students
 may opt for shortcuts
instead
 of actively engaging with their studies. Copying answers or relying on automated tools reduces the need for deep thinking and problem-solving, resulting in a more passive approach to learning. To combat these issues, schools can introduce cognitive development exercises,
such
 as puzzles and memory games, which help stimulate
students
' mental engagement and creativity.
Additionally
, incorporating art classes into the curriculum can encourage
imagination
 and foster discipline. Art activities require
students
 to think outside the box and practice persistence, balancing the convenience of
technology
 with hands-on creative expression. In conclusion,
while
technology
 has undeniable benefits in education, it can
also
 diminish
imagination
 and promote laziness.
Students
 can develop critical thinking and creativity by incorporating cognitive and creative activities into learning, ensuring a balanced and enriched educational experience.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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task achievement
While the main points are well-supported, consider using more specific examples to illustrate your arguments. This will strengthen the task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows well, but ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively present and contribute to the overall logical structure of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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