Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Environmental issues become more crucial
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days,
thus
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
an international intervention because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can not be solved individually. I personally agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
statement and
this
essay will elaborate more.
Firstly
, we need to invest
on
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in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology in order to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental problems. As the ecological issues significantly become more complex,
the
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apply
show examples
advanced solutions are needed.
Moreover
,
this
investment will need a huge amount of money.
For example
, the incineration machine is built by Singapore officials to solve the waste issue in the
last
decades in their country. As it is extremely expensive, amounting to more than $ 10,000, people are not able to purchase
this
machine independently.
Therefore
, the technology investment can not
being
Change the verb form
be
show examples
realized by individuals.
Secondly
, the
government
plays a pivotal role in the application of an environmental
policy
. The number of natural damages shows a remarkable increase and it will continue to rise if the
government
do not apply a strict
policy
to
prohibited
Wrong verb form
prohibit
show examples
further
damaging actions.
For instance
, in Indonesia, people are not allowed to use plastic bags for shopping in the supermarket. Owing to
this
policy
, people prefer to bring their own shopping bags and it surprisingly decreases the number of plastic use in the city.
Hence
, the
government
has a big leverage to control the environmental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
in the nation. In conclusion, the stakeholders' roles are
essentials
Fix the agreement mistake
essential
show examples
in order to improve the environmental quality in
this
modern world. The
government
certainly plays the most crucial
actor
Correct your spelling
factor
show examples
in terms of technology investment and applying a
policy
.
Submitted by chocolate10 on

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grammatical accuracy
Work on minor grammatical issues and improve sentence structures to make the essay more polished. For example, use 'the' instead of 'to' in 'I personally agree to this statement'.
task achievement
Expand on each main point a bit more to provide a deeper analysis and make sure that ideas are comprehensively covered.
introduction conclusion
You have introduced and concluded your essay well, making your stance clear.
examples support
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your arguments.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow your train of thought.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective action
  • climate change
  • rising sea levels
  • extreme weather events
  • biodiversity loss
  • ecosystems
  • Convention on Biological Diversity
  • significant improvements
  • sovereignty
  • environmental policies
  • international collaboration
  • environmental degradation
  • shared responsibility
  • technological advances
  • innovative solutions
  • international cooperation
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