Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#persons #countries

Environmental issues become more crucial

Change preposition

apply

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these days,

thus

Correct pronoun usage

they

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needs

Correct subject-verb agreement

need

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an international intervention because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can not be solved individually. I personally agree

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with

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this

statement and

this

essay will elaborate more.

Firstly

, we need to invest

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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technology in order to solve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environmental problems. As the ecological issues significantly become more complex,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advanced solutions are needed.

Moreover

this

investment will need a huge amount of money.

For example

, the incineration machine is built by Singapore officials to solve the waste issue in the

last

decades in their country. As it is extremely expensive, amounting to more than $ 10,000, people are not able to purchase

this

machine independently.

Therefore

, the technology investment can not

being

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realized by individuals.

Secondly

, the

government

plays a pivotal role in the application of an environmental

policy

. The number of natural damages shows a remarkable increase and it will continue to rise if the

government

do not apply a strict

policy

prohibited

Wrong verb form

prohibit

show examples

further

damaging actions.

For instance

, in Indonesia, people are not allowed to use plastic bags for shopping in the supermarket. Owing to

this

policy

, people prefer to bring their own shopping bags and it surprisingly decreases the number of plastic use in the city.

Hence

, the

government

has a big leverage to control the environmental

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

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in the nation. In conclusion, the stakeholders' roles are

essentials

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essential

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in order to improve the environmental quality in

this

modern world. The

government

certainly plays the most crucial

actor

Correct your spelling

factor

show examples

in terms of technology investment and applying a

policy

Submitted by chocolate10 on Fri Sep 13 2024

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grammatical accuracy

Work on minor grammatical issues and improve sentence structures to make the essay more polished. For example, use 'the' instead of 'to' in 'I personally agree to this statement'.

task achievement

Expand on each main point a bit more to provide a deeper analysis and make sure that ideas are comprehensively covered.

introduction conclusion

You have introduced and concluded your essay well, making your stance clear.

examples support

You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your arguments.

logical structure

The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow your train of thought.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

collective action
climate change
rising sea levels
extreme weather events
biodiversity loss
ecosystems
Convention on Biological Diversity
significant improvements
sovereignty
environmental policies
international collaboration
environmental degradation
shared responsibility
technological advances
innovative solutions
international cooperation

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