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Band 6.5

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Bristol University in 1928,1958 and 2008

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Bristol University in 1928,1958 and 2008
The table chart gives information about
Correct article usage
the numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
Use synonyms
students
Change the noun form
student
show examples
 enrolments at Bristol University between 1928 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the start of the period the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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highest proportion of enrolment
students
Use synonyms
 made up
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
end of
period
Add an article
the period
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. in 1928, the index of
students
Use synonyms
 made up only 218
students
Use synonyms
, of which 42%
female
Add a missing verb
were female
show examples
 and 58%
male
Add a missing verb
were male
show examples
, but after 3 decades the index of
students
Use synonyms
 climbed to 1,046 (68% male and 32% female).
However
Linking Words
 the most significant
skyrocketed
Replace the word
skyrocket
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
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studens
Correct your spelling
students
 was shown in 2008, the
Use synonyms
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
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 number reached
the
Correct article usage
apply
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6,377 where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
female composed the highest number
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 (54% female, 46% male). Notably that in 1928
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
50%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
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 came from within 30 miles of Bristol and only 5% of other countries(3 countries), but the segment of
bristol
Capitalize word
Bristol
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 falled signifcant to 14% in 1958 and to 1-2% in 2008.
While
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
students
Correct quantifier usage
number of students
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 from overseas
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to 28%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 (98 countries).

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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