social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantage of social media outweight the disadvange?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks #advantage #outweight #disadvange

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In the modern era, social media is getting more and more familiar with all age groups, but there are some risks in posting personal information online. Personally, the disadvantage outweighs the advantage and reasons will be taken into account in

this

essay. There are two main benefits when sharing private data on the Internet.

Firstly

, people who you just

meet

Wrong verb form

met

show examples

can have information to know you better.

This

originates from the fact that personal clues can be used to know a person more and build relationships among friends.

For instance

, the profile on Facebook or Instagram can be used to understand an individual's personality, so the conversation can be much more interesting and funnier.

Finally

, some occupations acquire sharing personal instruction on social publishing to make money. Influencers and celebrities show their followers their private

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and the Internet makes

this

happen easier and more

efficient

Change the word

efficiently

show examples

For example

, famous citizens post or upload their daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

or special events online to attract their fans, so they can earn their living from advertising or selling products. But there are

also

some serious drawbacks related to

this

situation.

Initially

, the hacker uses personal info to steal money by accessing a bank account.

This

results from the truth that individuals tend to use the material which is familiar to them to create financial accounts.

This

helps hackers easily find out the password to access and transfer the victim's balance to their own account.

Lastly

, there is a new type of criminal which is called an identity thief. They collect data from social media platforms or public websites to do illegal activities.

For instance

, they access your Facebook and messaging to your relatives, so they pretend to be you and borrow money from your friends. In conclusion, the drawback of sharing credential information on social media outweighs the benefit.

Submitted by khoitvhe130007 on Sun Jul 02 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure a clear introduction that presents the topic succinctly and outlines the essay structure. Avoid lengthy introductions that do not directly address the question.

supported main points

Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and support the main points with well-elaborated examples and explanations. Use linking words effectively to aid coherence.

complete response

Always address the task directly and maintain a clear position throughout the response. Be sure to respond to all parts of the task to achieve full task achievement.

logical structure

Present ideas clearly and avoid unnecessary complexity in sentence structures. Ensure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.

clear comprehensive ideas

Enhance clarity by breaking down complex ideas into comprehensive statements. Strive for precision and conciseness in language use.

relevant specific examples

Draw on a range of relevant, specific examples that clearly back up the arguments. Use examples that are directly related to the main point of each paragraph.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantage of social media outweight the disadvange?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

some people think that competition at work, at school and daily life is good thing. othersbelieve that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that to give opportunuties to the new generation, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Some countries have introduced a law to limit working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?