Some people should focus on all, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those that they find interesting. Discuss both views and give your own.

It is often argued that some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
should be focused only on things that
finds
Change the verb form
find
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interesting
while
some people readily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
observe all the things regardless of
knowing
Wrong verb form
what they know
show examples
. I believe that
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
solely depends on the type of person. Few of them
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
of adventurous nature and explore all the things nearby. Few of them only rely on their interest
such
as
goal oriented
Add a hyphen
goal-oriented
show examples
.
This
essay
examine
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examines
show examples
both
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
and
explore
Correct subject-verb agreement
explores
show examples
both
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
of persons.
To begin
with the adventurous one,
this
type of person
have traits
Wrong verb form
has the ability
show examples
to explore all the
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
of
object
Fix the agreement mistake
objects
show examples
. It means that they play a part in those activities too that they do not know much
.
Change preposition
about.
show examples
For
instanace
Correct your spelling
instance
, police officers in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
show examples
have
develp
Correct your spelling
developed
develop
this
trailts
Correct your spelling
trial
to see
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
every person from different
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
. They explore all the
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
that
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
not
associate
Replace the word
associated
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
them.
Additionally
, these
traite
Correct your spelling
traits
enable them to keenly observe
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by muhammadahtsham457 on

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task achievement
While the introduction provides two viewpoints, it's important to address both more thoroughly throughout the essay. Ensure you balance the discussion of both perspectives.
task achievement
Work on providing clear, consistent arguments and using specific examples to support your points more effectively. For instance, more detailed examples and elaborations would enhance the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use topic sentences to guide the reader through your arguments and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay. Phrases like 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'As a result' can help to maintain coherence.
task achievement
The essay topic is introduced clearly, and there is an attempt to discuss both views.
task achievement
The introduction does a good job of acknowledging different types of people and their focus.
task achievement
There is an effort to provide an example (police officers in the United Kingdom) to support the point about adventurous individuals.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • cognitive development
  • well-rounded education
  • adaptive
  • interdisciplinary skills
  • lifelong learning
  • personalized learning
  • deep expertise
  • broad knowledge base
  • career flexibility
  • problem solvers
  • self-directed learning
  • essential subjects
  • critical life skills
  • informed citizenship
  • motivation
  • engagement
  • neglect
  • interests
  • personal growth
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