Sone people think that newsapers are the best media to learn and get information from while others believe that the internet is a better source. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that learning has many sources to do.
While
it is a commonly held belief that learning from the newspaper is more beneficial, there is
also
an argument that getting information is better.
This
essay will analyse
this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand,
people
who
use
newspapers find it more professional and easy to
use
. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, it is easy to read and it is good for
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
because not many
people
can
use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
because of their eyes.
In addition
,
this
method
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
many
people
learn faster and it is more fun for them.
For example
, I know many
people
use
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
to increase their information and they are more intelligent than me.
On the other hand
,
people
who
use
the
internet
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
find it easy to get and
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster than
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
. It is
also
possible to say that, the
internet
is a whole world you can read everything
while
you are at home.
Moreover
, you can
use
the
internet
everywhere and for free
also
you can share it with your
friend's
Change noun form
friends
show examples
.
For instance
, I can share all my information with my
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
in seconds and they can know what I have read before. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that every source has its own advantages and disadvantages and you can choose whatever you want but for
me
Add a comma
me,
show examples
I will choose the
internet
because it is easier for me.
Submitted by bcynfn159 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your argument is fully developed with clear and comprehensive ideas that are consistently linked to the prompt. Provide more detailed reasoning and examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. For example, use linking words like 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'therefore' to better connect your thoughts.
task achievement
Refine your examples and make them more relevant to the points you are trying to make. Instead of general statements, use specific instances or data that directly relate to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and sets the stage for the discussion, which contributes positively to the overall clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion neatly wraps up your essay and provides your personal opinion, making it clear where you stand on the issue. This is a strong aspect of your coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You effectively highlighted the major advantages of both newspapers and the internet, which demonstrates a balanced approach to discussing both views.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: