IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statment?

#government #money #railways #roads #statment
Nowadays, shopping outstands as a hobby
neather
Correct your spelling
neither
 as a regular domestic task
how
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 it was in the past,
furthermore
,
this
 essay will show an
analyse
Replace the word
analysis
show examples
 of
this
 trend with a positive intense than as a negative one, for
reason
Add an article
a reason
show examples
 because it does not waste a huge amount of
time
 and help to
people
 adjust their spendings more proper. In terms of precipitation, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 do not prefer
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long shopping because they spend a lot of their
time
 on it ,
while
 they can work or use it
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
other thing
Change the wording
another thing
other things
show examples
 which will be more regarding.
For instance
, many
people
 just do not have
such
neccessity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 in miscellaneous products and goods that they needed in past when most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
families
Add an article
the families
show examples
 lived in houses which demanded more spendings.
However
, it was not the only cause for the decline of the shopping trend . Many folks use technologies where they can regulate a number of commodities and
financial
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finances
show examples
 that
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
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 to rent and other needs.
Also
 , it happened for reason that
people
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people's
show examples
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 changed.
For example
, many
people
 live in apartments , somebody alone or with a tiny family and that still
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 a huge
time
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 market apps that cut the
time
thus
Correct word choice
and thus
show examples
 could
be use
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
 more properly to be better than others in comparison with the old times when the world was much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
less populated and was less
aggresive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to say that it should be
continuing
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 because that
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 could show us more opportunities and
develope ourselfes
Correct your spelling
develop ourselves
.
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

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language
Work on improving sentence structures and correcting grammatical errors. This will help in conveying ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and try to present fresh ideas or perspectives in each paragraph. This will improve the logical flow and add depth to your essay.
conclusion
The conclusion makes a clear statement regarding the writer's stance on the topic.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address the prompt and gives a balanced view of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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