In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?
Most
people
believe that shopping could be identified as a hobby rather than a usual routine task as it was in the past. I completely agree that this
tendency has more disadvantages than advantages,
because these acts can cause Remove the comma
apply
people
addiction
and financial problems.
Firstly
, nowadays majority of humanity has enjoyment from shopping, and this
has started to increase the development of shopping addiction
. It is happening due to
dopamine that comes through buying some new things, and that dopamine disappears very quickly so that people
want to acquire more stuff that surrounds them. It is unsafe for all people
,
since it is hard to get out of Remove the comma
apply
this
addiction
. For example
, shopping addiction
is almost the same as an addiction
to gambling, and people
really need to cure it. Instead
of cheap dopamine people
should get fun from other things, like meditation, reading, jogging etc.
Secondly
, consumption of various things leads people
to trouble in finance. Since, in current times managers of large stores and shopping malls already know how to get more money from consumers. They improve the marketing sphere of their shops and search for a victim for it. As a result
, most families will have financial problems due to
all these confusing products. For instance
, in the past, people
went to the shop when they really needed something for a living, and all the founders of stores had no tricky marketing for consumers.
In conclusion, thankful for these provided explanations, reasons and examples I strongly believe that regarding shopping as a hobby is a very dangerous delusion.Submitted by a.seytzhanova on
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task response
Try to make your arguments more balanced by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the trend.
task response
Ensure that your main points are thoroughly explained and developed with clear, specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your essay by using more transitional phrases between paragraphs to better connect your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same ideas and phrases in different parts of your essay; try to present a wider variety of vocabulary and expressions.
organization
Your essay has a clear introduction and a well-defined conclusion.
content
You have effectively identified two main disadvantages of considering shopping as a hobby: addiction and financial problems.
examples
The use of examples such as the comparison between shopping addiction and gambling is effective in reinforcing your points.