IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

"Prevention is better tha cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invet in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree.

#prevention #tha #cure #diseases #invet #measures
Prevention raises awareness among
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 to take care of their health. People who are health conscious prefer preventing diseases
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 going to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
show examples
 and having treatment. Treatment
procedure
Fix the agreement mistake
procedures
show examples
 and diagnosis of terminal diseases are expensive and time-consuming,
therefore
, people prefer taking effective measures to take care of their health. There are numerous campaigns
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
running in the USA aiming
for raising
Change preposition
to raise
show examples
 awareness regarding
prevention
Correct article usage
the prevention
show examples
 of AIDS and cancer.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Try to develop a clear introduction and conclusion for the essay. These sections help frame your argument and provide closure to your ideas.
supported main points
Ensure all major points are explained adequately and supported with relevant and specific examples.
complete response
Clarify your stance on the topic. Explain to what extent you agree with the statement and provide a balanced discussion.
relevant specific examples
Your essay touches on significant points such as the costs and time-consuming nature of medical treatments.
relevant specific examples
You raise an essential point about awareness campaigns in the USA aimed at preventing diseases like AIDS and cancer.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!